Justin and Jagmeet announce they’re the world’s first power couple.

WEF proteges Justin Trudeau and Jagmeet Singh became world’s first power couple. Just in case this riveting revelation wasn’t enough, Justin then announced he was in fact transgender while Jagmeet fully supports Justin’s ‘brave’ decision. 

“I have a special announcement to make. Because of all the toxicity in Canada, I decided to make Jagmeet my gimp.” Making a heart gesture with his hands Justin playfully added, ‘Just kidding, Jag. You complete me.”

“With this incredible joining of forces, we can now move ahead and rid Canada of ropey-racists. All 37.4 million of them. Behold! I present you all “The Justin Zoolander Center for People Who Can’t Listen to me Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too camp!…Center!”

At that moment CBC;s Rosemary Barton whistled hard while ‘J-class’ reporters from CTV and Global clapped making seal sounds. 

As for himself when asked when he was going to become transgender lest he be seen as transphobic, Jagmeet replied, ‘Something’s cookin’. Stay tuned Canada’ But first a magic trick!’ He then proceeded to change his turban into different colours each time pointing to the top of his head saying with a wide grin, ‘Ahhh, eh?’ 

It’s unclear at this point what this means for the all the parties and most important Canadians. 

“The best way I can describe this alliance is it’s like Potsie and Ralph Malph joining forces. No one in their circle of friends would take take it seriously but would worry about the damage they could cause around Milwaukee’ says one clearly frustrated political analyst. ‘I have run out of ideas and explanations conveying to Canadians what’s going on. I’m exasperated to be frank. I’ve resorted to Happy Days analogies’. 

When asked about the deal, Klaus Schwab replied, ‘It was splendid. They weren’t the best students but they were the most eager. It’s nice to see them working together to our advantage. By ‘our’, of course, I mean Canada.”

The first order of business is expected in April where the Liberals will table a bill stipulating they will provide every single Canadian with a pony, unicorn and some coke.

Loads of it.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Mysterious and anonymous comments as well as those laced with cyanide and ad hominen attacks will be deleted. Thank you for your attention, chumps.