2010-07-25

Sketches Of Delaware: Jeep Liberty

I'm perusing the streets of Fenwick County. Be forwarned people of the first state who pay no taxes.

Damn. It's so beautiful not to pay taxes. I was in a liquor store and I gotta say, we ain't got nothing like it here in terms of overall selection and pricing. How can we when liquor here is insanely governed by the state? It doesn't take a tree planter genius to figure out that our prices our higher to subsidize the unionized worker.

Anyway.

Great stuff. Stacked up on Lambrusco.

And off I went. I've taken the habit of not wearing my seat belt here. I feel emasculated. I feel like a man. Something I rarely get to enjoy. It's so irrational I've attached my seat belt behind me so as to not hear the constant "beeping" tone to remind me to put the sucker on.

Exchange between wife and husband:

"Commentator, put your seat belt on."
"Why?"
"Erm, because you can die?"
"You make it sound so...definite."
"Don't get smart."
"I'm just saying."
"Say nothing and do it."
"No."
"Unfold your arms and keep your hands on the steering wheel."
"Hmpf."
"Commenator. Please!"
"It's the live free or die state."
"That's New Hampshire."
"You don't say? What do you know about states?"
"Not much but enough to know that you're an idiot."
"Fine. I'm an idiot. But at least I'm free."
"And your freedom will land you in a morgue."
"Hon, we're only going to CVS."
"Over 50% of accidents happen close to where you live."
"Source please."
"You know stats more than me."
"Whatever. I think Delaware has no seat belt laws."
"I'm pretty sure they do."
"It's not a pssy nanny state like Massachusetts. It's not manly like Montana or Wyoming but it's definitely not a nag."
"You're rambling."
"It's a Jeep Liberty. What part of liberty don't you get?
"Ok. Just take me to the pharmacy. I have to add vomit bag to the list."
"I'm free...la-la-la..."
"Watch out............!!"
"Ooo, that was close, eh? And look still no seat belt!"

3 comments:

  1. I don't know if I agree with the three other comments, but you do sound stupid here.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, they seem a little too "right-wing" for me.

    Where do I sound "stupid?" You do get it's exaggerated humor - excep the wine bit - right? It's a persona of where I'd go if I lost sense. On second thougt...

    ReplyDelete
  3. OK' maybe you were a bit under the weather when you wrote this. Hope you were nort driving while posting.

    ReplyDelete

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