2012-08-09

Canadian Olympic Thoughts

You know, Canada should be - now that I think of it - dominating canoe racing at the Olympics. I mean, all we do is talk about how "it's part of the Canadian experience" to ride in one - I've been on a canoe twice in my life. I'm no coureur de bois that's for sure. Anyway, we're the home of Mr. Canoehead, dammit!

So I'm not sure how I feel about watching Hungarians, Norwegians and Germans take (heck, steal) medals from us Canucks.

And where are the Natives anyway? Didn't they invent the canoe? Shouldn't we be bringing them in as ringers?

If white Canadians can't bring home the Gold then scoop up the Indians, eh, and stick a Maple Leaf on their backs and row away I say.

If I were a Canadian canoer and didn't win Gold tell you what I'd do during one of those "how do you feel?" interviews.

"How do I feel? I'll show you how I fucking feel." Then I'd start up a chainsaw and cut my canoe in half. "I lost to some no-name from a country so unknown the IOC rented it for the Olympics!"

***

Canada has a total of 17 medals in London. Not bad I guess. Not great, but not bad either. It would be better if the country earned more than the one gold medal (in trampoline no less).

One way to do this is to apply "own the podium" like they did in Vancouver 2010. That worked out great with 14 gold medals. Give money, get gold. Simple as that.

Alas, as one guy on a sports show claimed it was "Un-Canadian" to do that. I always wondered what the shit that meant. What, winning bronze and finishing 4th is? Sorta like what we hear down south with the "take back America" and "that's un-American" rhetoric in politics.

It's one thing for Joe-Shmo casual sports fan to take this position but quite another for a host of a sports show to say it. Sports is about competition. Competition is about winning. Without aiming to win you're a loser.

To deny this is to keep Canada mediocre.

I'm a big fan of 'Own the Podium.' Give the athletes the best we can offer. If we want to send 284 athletes then I think it's important we bring home more than a couple of gold medals. Or else scale back the size and focus on a couple of sports. Why spread yourself thin?

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