2005-04-03

Max: Without a Paid Job. Now Just a Statistic

So, here's the thing. My luck is terrible. Just terrible. Terrible. I'm one of those guys that goes to a counter, any counter, and the salesman says "Ooo, cheez, we just sold our last one to that guy. Sorry" or "Sorry, hon, we just ran out of filet mignon in dijon mustard sauce a few seconds ago." Maybe if you would have been here sooner....Story of my life. My timing sensibilities are completely out of whack with the universe. Everywhere I go it's "we just filled the position" and "we would have loved to publish your stuff but just hired someone. They are shittier but we're committed." No one is committed to dear old Max. No one owes me nothing but a break would be nice. They say you make your own luck. How the fuck do you do that?

I was at Zeller's, Target, Wal-Mart, Canadian Tire whatever. I'm not sure. I was in those places, by the way I love corporations, if anything because it pisses off Marxist-Leninist professors and their patchy bearded, sandal wearing good for nothing patsy students. Anyway, I was buying packs of Swiffer. I sank. I walked along the long, long store promenade bamboozled by the utter desperate reality of my life. No job and armed with Swiffer's. "What the fuck is this? This is not a life!" I murmured...I think loudly. Some welfare moron at the cash was asking the cashier to verify the price of every fucken item he was buying. He and his putz son and ugly wife were pinching all the wrong parts of my skin. They were discussing which items to keep and put back. Right there! Of course, none of us have the guts to say anything as the line is getting longer and, naturally, one cashier. Finally, something twitched inside of me. It was when the idiot wanted to pay part of the bill with a certificate from 1998. More time wasted. With my Swiffer in hand I pound the counter without saying anything. I reached the cashier with a disturbed grin lost in my absurdist state.

That was it. Maybe I lost my nerves seeing that I have not slept in five days. That will be the subject of my next note.

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