Max: Me Unemployed, You Not

I should start looking for work. At some point there's going to be an epiphany where I'm going to realize that I will have forfeited my right to call others losers. This is getting ridiculous. Besides, I think the government is going to turn me down for benefits. Imagine that, you put into it for years and some putz civil servant will turn you down. You have to free the money up for pampered rich kids, criminals and immigrants who have no intentions of working I guess. Shlepps like me, meaning law abiding, pay the price.

Another sleepless night. I blasted 'Personality Crisis' as I ran around the apartment in an utter plea to get myself tired. It failed and so I descended into the night and onto the streets. My park of unmitigating circumstances and unforeseen adventures is a place where the godless gods watch over me with indifference.

My blood tests showed that I have high cholesterol. Now, I have to take pills to help lower it since its hereditary. I am now unemployed and a hypocondriac. What was the point of having a healthy diet and exercising all this time? I'm going on a sex and alcohol binge since my DNA is obviously determining my destiny. I want any of Tom Waits, Elvis Costello, John Mellencamp or Bruce Springsteen to write a song about me when I'm done. I recognize that I'm a utilitarian classical progressive conserative with a sprinkle of classical liberalism but hey. I'm a mess.

I wonder if Cocoa Puff Daddy is still politically active. Yo, bitch. Come to think of it, I wonder if Ben Affleck is still a model of democracy. Probably not.

Speaking of deceptions, Mark McGwire et al are so big and strong that legend has it, they went to the plate with their arm acting as a bat and hit towering 500-footers. Except against spitters.

I went for a haircut today. Jeebies took me to some guy called Pinky. I mean, really. Pinky is not a barber. He's a hairstylist. He's a coiffure artiste and let me have it when I made the mistake of calling him a hairdresser. He went off about hair as art or something. Interestingly, despite his flaming gay attributes I was told that he was straight. After he chewed into me, I told him I just wanted a brush cut. His reaction was worth the $25.

Still can't get Simone out of my head. But I would not want to let her see me during this tumultuous period.