2006-04-29

The Commentator is back: Betterly, badderly, bitterly? A Moving experience

I've been moving all week. Not surprisingly, there was no time to write on a fricken blog. Yet, even in the middle of a hectic move there's a story to be told at all corners and intersections of our oft inexplicable lives. One need only pay attention to what is around them. Before I continue, our thoughts are with Survival Theory during her difficult period.

Let's start with the efficient movers I hired at $70/hr. I wasn't sure what I was going to get since this was my first time hiring movers. I was not disappointed. Here were two non-Canadian born guys picking up pieces that would normally take two First-world people to lift and carry; Ford and GM pay attention. It's amazing what imported non-unionized labor can accomplish in three hours. Judging by their appearance and rugged facial expressions, it was quite noticeable they were from another part of this planet. Surely enough, we eventually were informed that they were from Kazakstan.

Kazakstan!

For the first time I froze. Normally, I have something to say about most countries in this world but this one chilled me. What was the capital? All those 'Stans' that popped up after the fall of the quasi-evil - but surely impractical communist - Soviet empire, it was hard to keep up with the happenings of those desolate lands. Now, I know that their leader is a typical despot in the Russian mold and that their economy lies in tatters but I wasn't about to say that. I was going to mention their hockey performance at the Olympics but that seemed trivial and lame. "Hey, you guys hung in their with your former puppet masters from Russia!" Bah. They would have hurled me through the window.

Anyway, after breaking them down with absolutely useless small talk we discovered that they do smile despite their light eyed, Conan-like forbidding looks. Each time they placed a piece or item they entertained with a quip or remark as they passed us by - while we, um, drank. We offered. We're not animals. And what's a day with fellow comrades without the typical political opinion?

Surely enough, one of the movers mumbled something about 'capitalism' and 'prostitution.'

I must confess, neither myself or my brother-in-law understood what he said but we laughed more at the stereotype characterization. All I can think of (I can't speak for my brother-in-law but knowing him he probably thought like me) were 'The Simpsons' and how they depicted Eastern European cartoons in one of their episodes. If you now what I mean that's scary. If not, well, too bad for you; it was hilarious. That's exactly how we picture those parts of the world. You know, brooding men on horses tanking some vodka while profiting from the oldest profession in a nearby tent operating as a cafe.

It all ended and none too soon. They did their jobs well. They were real workers. They earned a $30 tip.

Ah, capitalism; so, so, well evil?

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