Elton John and Quebec Customs

Customs agent: Votre nom, monsieur?

Elton John: "Er, my French is limited and rather elementary Sir, however I believe you asked me my name?

CA mutters to himself: Maudits anglophone.

Pause. Continues.

CA: Non, monsieur. Je n'ai pas le droit de parler la langue du diable.

Elton John: Very well. Sir Elton 'I remake my own songs when I am sad' John.

Customs agent: Cudon, maudit. Elteau Jean?

EJ smiling as people with rulers approach him to get a glimpse of the problem. "I believe I was not clear. My apologies. Elton John. Levon? Bennie and the Jets? Tumbleweed Connection?

Customs agent violently stamps his passport. "Vous etes maintenant Jean Elteau ici aux Quebec. Voici votre pamphlet sur les Patriotes. T'es bain mieux de te comporte bien icite, mon tabernak."

EJ's makeup begins to leak on his portable piano. "Now you listen here, Mr. Customs Agent man, I am Elton John and I make music. I don't have to comporte myself in any except in a way I see fit. I am here to give a concert for your people. Capeesh?...Play rough with me...I'll show you rough."

And then and there Elton John began to sing Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting and he did just that....even though it was Tuesday.

It was quite the brawl.

For Paolo Calabro

No comments:

Post a Comment

Mysterious and anonymous comments as well as those laced with cyanide and ad hominen attacks will be deleted. Thank you for your attention, chumps.