Secret To Life

T.C. is always happy to help people along with any advice.

Wanna know what the secret to life is?

Two words really.

Love and happiness?

Good guess but it's only a part of a bigger taco. You ain't gonna get this excellent advice in a fancy book or snazzy school or even a stripper. You'll get here. Now. For FREE!

Ever wonder why your life is stuck in neutral and the stick shift is as stubborn as a pig refusing to get on the the conveyor belt to be slaughtered? Ever wonder why you're so scared, frightened like a virgin about to be sacrificed to a tribal god somewhere on the global right at this moment (statistics show a young person is sacrificed every 33 seconds in Ontario alone! It's true look it up). We at T.C.'s Cosmic Pawn know and see all!

CASH. FLOW.

No cash flow, buh-bye.

Yes cash flow, huh-lo.

Everything flows from there.

Congratulations, here's your diploma.

Want to improve cash flow? Send a money-order in the name of Penn. Inc. #2344 for $39.95. If you do it within, I don't know, one minute, I'll reduce the price to $38.89! What are you waiting for? Don't trust me yet? I'm thinking of a number right this second. If you use it, magical things will start to happen to you in, three or days. Or weeks! Months even! Just say you're interested and I will give you that number ABSOLUTELY FREE!

Please. Let me help you!

***

INT: BEDROOM. DAY. Someone shouts to T.C. from downstairs.

T.C.: What, ma? I'm busy!
Voice: I want to know if you want bacon on your sausage sugar stacks!
T.C.: Add some liquid sugar on top of it!