Flash: Could you believe this shit? I got a parking ticket right outside the Hall!
Bat-Man (cutting cold cuts): Too bad.
Flash: Like you care.
Robin (puts down book): Why are you driving anyway? You're, the Flash!
Flash: I want to reduce my carbon print.
Bat-Man: Ooof.
Flash: What's your problem? You don't think we should help the environment?
Bat-Man: Flash, the smoke you leave behind is greater than all of China's Co2 emissions!
Flash: What about you? What, with that Bat-rocket blasting into outer space. Heaven knows how that's affecting the polar bears.
Bat-Man: And how do you suggest we get up there to save some loser planet?
Flash: Whatever. It's Bat-shit.
Bat-Man: So mature, Flash.
Flash (points with thumb to Superman): What about him?
Bat-Man: What about him...
Robin (pounds fist in palm): Holy pollution, Bat man! Superman leaves a larger carbon foot print than Obama and Al Gore combined!
Flash: Why do you always have to address Bat-man when you're talking in a group?
Superman: My ears are ringing.
Wonder Woman: Someone's thinking about you.
Superman: I bet.
Wonder Woman: Will you deal?
Superman: One more win and that top comes off, Dubya.
Wonder Woman: I hate that nickname.
Superman (to himself): "It's not fair Aquaman got to fuck her."
Wonder Woman: Deal!
Enter Aquaman whistling "Oh Susanna."
Aquaman: Hey, hi there fellow Hall of Justicers! Nothing like a fresh swim in the East river to get the ole fins goin'.
Flash: Hi, waterboy.
Aquaman: What's with all the dour faces?
Just then, the Trouble Alert signals
Trouble Alert: Please Superfriend. Help us!
Robin: That's it? What the fuck?
Flash: What, no details? Are these people stupid? Do they think we're psychics?
Wonder Woman: Go easy on them. They're in distress!
Superman: You always go easy on everyone.
Wonder Woman: What's that supposed to mean?
Superman: Why don't you ask Aquaman?
Wonder Woman: That again?
Robin to Bat-Man: Man, those two should just hook up and unload all that tension.
Trouble Alert: Sorry Superfriends. I forgot to give you the particulars. We're on Planet Fedotu. We're the ones who invaded and wiped out the previous civilization.
***Sips drink***
Now HURRY!
Superman: Hey, remember when we went curling and how Robin's voice went up several octanes when he would scream HURRY! So gay!
Robin: Oh like you were so manly screaming SWEEP!
Superman: Do you "guys" realize how tough it is me to play down to you dumb fucks? I mean, I'm stronger than anything.
Aquaman: Except Kryptonite.
Superman to Wonder Woman: Why?
Bat-Man: Fellas, enough. We all wear gay costumes for fuck sakes. Look at us. This stuff could have been made by Fruit of the Loom.
Robin: Bat-man is right. Can we get to work?
Superman: Where's Green Lantern?
Sound of toilet flushing emerges.
Superman: Come on GL, we have to head to Planet Fedotoo.
Flash: It's pronounced Fedo-tew.
Superman: Fuck you. Find you're own way.
Green Lantern: Where's my ring?
Robin: I saw it earlier right over...
Green Lantern: On the cutting board?
Robin: Yeah.
Green Lantern: Without my ring I'm just a guy in a green and black costume.
Aquaman: Oh, oh.
Green Lantern: Spill it Aquaman.
Aquaman: I sorta took it to the...
Green Lantern: Well...
Aquaman: Pawn shop!
Green Lantern: You hawked my ring?
Hawk-Man: I take offense to that term.
Aquaman: How was I supposed to know it was yours! Hm. Come to think of it, the guy did seem a tad overjoyed.
Green Lantern: Jesus Christ, how much did you get for it?
Aquaman: 100 bucks.
Green Lantern lunges for Aquaman: I think you're brain is filled with too much salt water.
Superman: QUIET!
Flash: Power tripper.
Superman: Shut the hell up Flash. I'll go with with Wonder Woman. Bat-Man will go with Robin...
Robin (to Bat-Man): No shit.
Flash: I wonder why he's going with Wonder Woman.
Superman: And Q-man can stay back and...anyway let's go.
Robin: What about Green Lantern?
Superman: Fuck him. He's useless.
Green Lantern: What's gonna happen to me?
Flash: Um, I know we have to go and save a planet but can we please think about the environment? Maybe we can all hop in the Invisible Jet? Or maybe ride on Superman's back?
Superman: Just because I'm Superman - the most powerful super hero in the world. Yeah, I'm looking at you Bat-Man - doesn't mean I don't have back spasms. Douche!
Flash: Well, I can't go in good conscience.
Superman: So don't come. But I want your junk cleared by 5pm tonight.
Flash: Isn't that harsh? It's not like I had sex with the cleaning lady!
Bat-Man: Come with and cut this shit out or OUT!
Superman: Cool?
Flash: Cool.
Superman: Let's roll.
Robin: Wait!
Superman: What now?
Robin: Prayer!
They hold hands and pra.
Bat-Man: Altogether now!
1-2-3, what are we? S-U-P-E-R!
Superman: I hate that cheer.
The greatest force of good ever assembled finally leave to save planet Fedotu. Nearby, Spider-Man looks on in disbelief.
Spider-Man: There goes one dysfunctional group of Superheroes.
End. Fin. Fini.
Bow. Jeers follow.
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