Obama's Naked Memoirs

The Audacity of Hedonism, Revelation and Control by Barack Obama.

Excerpt:

One time, me and a few buddies were chillin' out watchin' the T-Blazers do their thing, you know what I'm sayin'? And I turned to Oatmeel and I started with, "Man, we need to just blanket the market. Like just put a fucking quilt over the sucker. Just make sure it's made in the USA to shut the patriots up and we're good. He was like, "Yeah, it's all bullshit, man." He was so fried and burnt he was ready to be served with a burger; cheeseburger that is. I love cheeseburgers. I have the SNL cheeseburger skit on DVD.  So I continued, "It's the only way to bring power back to the people....Hey, Dubya come on in and join the par-tay! Chantal, come over here baby!"

Snnnooorrrt. Bong chicawawa.

It was then and there I knew I just gots to be in politics. I knew preaching and not practicing what you preach was the golden geese that laid an egg. I forget the saying.

So I sat up, looked around and said, "Shit, this is bull shit (I said bullshit a lot back then), I'm hitting the books." Of course, it was 3am. I was being figurative. I tend to get whimsically poetic in my pontification around that time. Especially on the bowl. I remember telling George, "Blue cracker, you won't amount to shit, I'm outta here." If I recall correctly, he replied, "My tongue is on fire, baby Chantal, don't stop."

Bushy went on to do somethings. Never knew what happened to Oatmeel though.