Tripped Up

We still haven't figured "what ought to be" can't be fused with "what is."

We're obsessed with the "mean." The "average." The problem is who determines what's an "average" for a society? And what happens to those who don't fit into that mould?

Oh, I know. You get 'splendid mediocrity.'

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When I was in school the 'Bell Curve' was the fad. It still may be I don't know. Didn't know much about the curve except that it seemed to be pretty good at nailing smart kids and bumping up idiots - like me.

Here's the thing. I knew I wasn't a good student. By being honest with myself, it allowed me to call things as it was. I didn't delude myself that because I passed a course thanks to a curve it meant I deserved it. Only a delusional moron would think so. Alas, this is exactly how we've conditioned kids. We don't punish them for cheating, we don't challenge them and if we do we fear hurting their feelings or worse the bull shit of self-esteem, we don't teach kids the realities of life; just the ought to be.

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Which brings me to another character flaw of mine. Whenever people agree with me, I immediately become suspicious and think to myself I must be wrong or must have missed something. I don't believe I know a whole lot.

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Which brings me to this wonderful video I viewed on SE:



Oof. Lots to digest. I'll only offer a couple of quick personal superficial thoughts:

-It should be abundantly clear that 'one size fits all' is a myth. Seeking a "balance" is probably a game that does more damage than good. "Moderation" in the Aristotle sense, is intensely personal. It can't be applied on a social-macro level. It's just illogical to think it can be achieved. In order to do so, unless you take total control of a society, it means you can predict man's thoughts and actions.

We can't.

-My brain works best late a night. This posed used problems for me growing up. By the time I was sufficiently calm enough to study or entertain deep thoughts for school, it was time to go to bed because I had to get up "early." I completely shut down. It was game over for me before it even began. I was a "great" student until Grade 4, then followed a slow slide into something, something.

I still do my best thinking, reading and writing after midnight.

-I was terrrified of big classes. I still hate crowds. I mean, loathe them. I struggle in tight circles with several people compacted making small talk not unlike those seen at house parties. I move around like a crackhead in search of his next score.

After one hour I want to stab myself in the eye with a spoon. I then begin to nag my social-butterfly better half to the point of exhaustion to leave. After a couple of hours I see no point in staying at a stagnant party. No, "there's cake" or "she's gonna open the presents soon" isn't sufficient for me to shut up and stay.

So, yeah. Hate house parties. My point is school was tortuous because it was designed for a certain mindset and type of person. I wasn't that person. Hence, struggles.

It wasn't until I hit a prep private college did I realize, thanks to several professors in English and History, I could write like a fucking demon.

*Bites head off hamster*

I could write a mean review of 'La Morte D'Arthur.'