2008-07-18

Looking For a Rebirth In Social Civility

An interesting and telling ad campaign is running on the radio these days. It's about a person sitting in their in car looking for a chance to get into a lane. When someone lets them in they react with genuine happiness.

Has it gotten to the point where a simple, civil act of kindness that should be second nature to us is considered a rare occurrence?

What's next? Commercials about the advantages of saying "Thank you?" Thank you's are optional now. If you want one you have to pay for it. Figuratively I'm speaking. Work with me.

Like everything else, the commercial is a band-aid approach to probably a deeper problem. Does anyone truly believe McDonald's is the root of obesity? This line of thinking only deflects from examining the individual and why he or she acts the way they do. Entering a McDonald's is only the outcome of that. Movies like that guy who ate nothing but McDonald's for 30-days have no intrisic value in terms of why obesity exists. The film simply reinforced simplistic dogma about fast food.

Whenever I hear the government pleading for us to act like Mary Poppins on the road as opposed to Mad Max, I hark back to the comical and surreal images of that Iraqi official who claimed everything was A-okay and that the invasion of his country was all American propaganda even though the tanks rolled by behind him.

Why do we treat one another like enemies on the road? Do we believe that letting someone in to be a sign of weakness? Intersections with stop signs have become a game where people race to it to avoid being the "sucker" thus leading to "Bunny-hop" stops. Why? To prove we won somehow over the other person?

The other day I was sitting in a dentists office. There were seven people and no one said a word to anyone. Of course, there may be practical reasons for this - like, I don't know, a painful tooth for example.

Interestingly, one would think that silence means an indifference to social interaction. This is not exactly ture. However, we all know man is a social being. It's why we have parties and politics.

While in the waiting room (the damn dentist was 30 minutes late), I observed many glances were exchanged. The sort where lots of heads go up and down and eyes shift. That kind of thing. You know what I mean. We've all done it. The quick look away. We all get caught with it.

The visual exchange points to a basic curiosity and/or a genuine desire to communicate. All that was needed was for someone to break the ice. Not that it's bad to want to remain silent. Talking for the sake of starting a conversation doesn't necessarily mean we're civil. What if the guy turns out to be a racist buffoon? Then again, what if a conversation with a racist leads to that person changing their minds or at least exposes them to a world outside their own?

On this day, it wasn't going to be me starting anything because I'm pathetic that way. I like to keep my social distance at about two feet. Besides, my hearing is not that strong and asking people to repeat themselves is awkward. My buddy on the other hand is ready to network anywhere, anytime. What a pain in the ass.

Digressions, digressions.

To break the ice is indeed the role of a social butterfly. However, here's the thing. We treat people with suspect whenever they do start a conversation with you. We probably wonder "what the heck is this guy's or gal's motive?" We let our cynicism govern our social conduct. Rather than just engage and say hello we shy away for a multitude of reasons. One of which being the type of societal construct we live in.

Then again, it's all a matter of trust and credibility.

Still, we're talking about basic social interaction here. Not about selling steak knives.

It's not always that way it's true. Certain towns and places (Vermont comes to mind for me. But I don't want to generalize) are more socially outward than others but I fear this under sieged mentality has become all too familiar for the most part.

Try this for fun. Say hello to someone in street. Either you'll be treated like you're the reincarnation of Franken-steen and The Hunchback of Notre-Dame or you may brighten the day of someone having a bad day.

Wow. All that from a 30 second commercial.

It says a lot about the state of mind of society, no?

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