2008-07-28

Encounters With The Past: Part One


-----In the creepy corner -----

Nestled away in my mind is an ability of some kind. I'm convinced of this...don't be afraid. I'm your friend.

A few days ago I sat down (as opposed to writing standing) and commenced articulating a story about a guy I knew. This in itself means nothing to you but it does have some value to me. You see, each time I meet this person I discover how I was perceived by certain people outside my inner-sanctum. It's like piecing a human puzzle. Over the years, I've come to view him as a sort of angel that distributes key information about me.

The entry was not published because it wasn't edited - something I try to find time for lest I come off sounding like that guy played by the amazing Stephen Root (who also acts as the voiceover for Bill Hauterive in 'King of the Hill.' Some of you will remember him as the hilarious Jimmy James on Newsradio) in the movie Office Space.

Oh, you want to know my friend's name? Eric. Of French-Canadian stock, I've known Eric since kindergarten. He is without doubt one of the most fucked up, unstable, talented, intelligent, cool, super nice red-headed guy I've come across.

Eric was one of those quiet, unassuming characters that gave off an aura of innocuous awkwardness. But in reality, he was a natural powerhouse with superb physcial and intellectual skill. He and I always got along swimmingly well. Like two birdbrains doing the breastsroke in...I have no idea where I'm going with this part of the sentence so let's just drop it.

-----The entry went something like this:

The other day we bumped into a friend of mine from the old neighborhood. Even though we never really hung out it's always great to see him.

I always considered Eric to be among the smartest guys growing up. One of those "disastrous student genius" types who later on got kicked out of University and lived the extreme skateboarders life. We all have our paths to go on.

Despite our different personalities (while he engaged in team sports they were pretty much alien to him) we always got along great largely because we respected each other greatly. We certainly shared a sense of humour that got us in trouble a few times.

The one I recall best was in high school during my religion class - which was made up of only boys (even though it was a public school) - a bunch of bored boys were sitting around the Chapel as the (foul-mouthed) Priest sat waiting for us to go in and give our Confessions. Instead of purifying ourselves, we all escaped the Chapel like a pack of wild animals.

Poor teacher (who literally looked like Beaker from the Muppet Show) needed reinforcement to round all of us up. Knowing that the hunt was on, it became a game for us to roam the high school pretending to be the Navy Seals avoiding a half dozen teachers.

We all split up and Eric and I ended up together. While he calmly ate carrots and celery, I nervously wondered if this time I really "did it." How many more chances was I going to get before getting kicked out of school for good?

"Let's hide in here," he dead panned.

"The Priest's personal bathroom?" I asked.

"Who will think to look in here?" Clearly this made perfect sense to me because I agreed. There we stood in the dark as a red headed kid chomped down on vegetables.

Just as he offered me a carrot, the door swung open. It was the principal of the school and Father Cox- Mr. Mirarchi (who once told me that I should buy a pair of construction boots and consider a career in construction. Ironically enough, even though I'm on that path as an investor) - and the look on their faces left quite the impression on me for years to come.

"Wh-what are you guys doing in here?"

Then Eric pulled one of the all-time classic rebuttals. "I love him, sir." Right in front of the Chapel.

Yes, there was nothing but stunned silence. I gently slapped my hand to my forehead. The principal quietly led us back into the Chapel. We were all summarily disciplined. My older sister had to explain the subtle aspect of the situation to my parents.

-----So this is what I had-----

As I roamed the aisles in a grocery store getting my thoughts in order trying to effectively write something he remembered I said in high school, I bumped into...Eric!

Endus Part Oneius.

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