My Trip To New York, By T.C.

On my March break I went to NYC with my parents, a clown we picked up on the way in,  my pet hamster and my mistress. We had a good time. I went to a peep show on 42nd street, hit up the Lower-east side for some corn-beef and played craps with some low-level mobsters in Chelsea.

A+!

***

Yes, visited the Big Apple for I think the 7th time.

This time, it was different as we took our seven year-old daughter with us. No night life this time around. We had to use some of our time to take her to the usual main attractions - notably Times Square (the Disney Store, American Girl and Toys 'R' Us') and F.A.O. Schwartz. And everything in between the whole area around Park Ave. and Madison and all that.

Too much to do, no kidding, in NYC in four days. The weather wasn't all that cooperative forcing us to cab around. Which is too bad because part of the fun is to walk NYC - and taking a cab, though cheap, adds up when you're going from Soho to, say, the Upper West Side.

Anyway. Still managed to cram in most of what we wanted to do. The only thing we couldn't manage due to scheduling was Broadway. Next time for sure.

Nor did we get to our dinner reservations in Queens because of weather.

I was hoping to get to my usual trek into the financial district but with the little one I had to be pragmatic (American Girl was her choice) while Little Italy, the Meat Packing District, the Empire State building  or Statue of Liberty - attractions we've seen but wanted to take our daughter to - had to be deferred for next time.

What did we do?

Skating in Central Park, brief walk in Soho, 42nd street, took in a NYC breakfast deli frequented by locas, ate a Kobe burger at Ellen's Stardust, and made a point to hit Trader Joe's, Dean & Deluca's and Mario Batali's Eataly. Eataly was rather spectacular. Had a nice meal there.

Montreal has a handful of seriously good pizza places (and by a handful I mean four or five places), NYC is littered with outstanding pizza places. They sure love their pizza thin though.

Same with espresso bars. We have, really, a few go-to places, New York has an endless stream of them.

I keep hearing how Montreal has the best restaurants. We do have very good affordable restaurants but it ain't NYC.

I'm sorry, but that can only come out of the mouths of people who haven't been to New York. New York suprasses Montreal (which usually copies NYC restaurants) so much it's not even worth discussing.

It's only natural, it's five times the size!

Headed to the Natural Museum of History thanks largely to my wife's friend who lent us her membership pass (saving us $60). She lives in a NYC penthouse with full view of the Empire State. I kept the Diff'rent Strokes and Dudley's molestation jokes at a minimum. Penthouses will always be associated with Mr. Drummond to me.

The trip hit its final apex when we took in a wonderful Italian meal at Biricchino's in Chelsea on 29th and a New York Rangers game at Madison Square Garden afterwards.

Rangers fans are a blast. Typical New York sports experience and my kid absolutely loved it. New York fans shout all sorts of things during a game that we don't typically see in Canada. It makes for a different (and more interesting to me anyway) experience. Talked on and off to the 'two Richie's' seated behind us from Long Island all game.

On this night, the Rangers played like little girls losing to the Ottawa Senators 3-2.

Love the non-sequitur shouts of 'Potvin Sucks!'

As for MSG, what can you say? One of the great sports venues in all of North America. Great restaurant choices too.

The walk back to 48th was nice.

Ended the trip at Woodbury Commons Outlets and Plattsburgh. Our pantry is filled with NY items.

The cost?

Let's just say we have to lick our wounds. Just eating in NYC alone is a fortune. That Kobe burger I mentioned earlier was $20.

***

Day at the museum.

Staring at sea lions.

Wife: They're so cute!
T.C.: If I opened my own museum I'd have the sea hunt clubbing one right next to this window.
Daughter: Mommy, what's a seal hunt?
Wife: Come honey, let's go see the whale.
T.C.: I'd also have a stuffed Italian man in an apron drinking espresso making pizza.
Wife: We should go see Annie.
T.C.: Who's Annie?
Wife: The Broadway show.
T.C.: Not interested.
Wife: We should try for a Matinee show.
T.C.: What part of I hate poor people don't you get?
Wife: We should go try and get them at TKS. It's last minute...
T.C.: I have no interest in seeing a poor shlep sing. I hate Oliver Twist and I sure as hell can't stand Anne of Green fucking Gables so what makes you think I want to listen to a red headed squirt sing for 2 1/2 hours? Nah. I want to see the Book of Mormon.
Wife: It's sold out until April.
T.C.: Well you go while I take in a peep show on 33rd. Or a comedy show with the dregs of NYC. You know, my kinda or people.
Wife: You're exasperating.
T.C.: What did you learn here at the museum?
Wife: I don't know.
T.C: That all these animals live to feed us and that there are a lot of useless cultures on this planet.
Wife: Cover your ears, love. She's seven you know.
T.C.: Just keeping it real, man.
Wife: Go get a cab and shut up.
T.C.: You bet.