The Commentator Indicted

Poor, poor dude. Sure. Itsokay. Shhh. I know. Dodo. Shh.

Judge: How do you plea on the charges of racketeering, illegal gambling, prostitution and murder!"
T.C (to lawyer): Racketeering? Like, he means tennis right? 'Cuz I do got a sweet one-hand backhand.
Judge: Mr. Carter please advise your client to enter a plea.
T.C.: Not guilty.
Judge: Do you understand the charges made against you? I'm asking because you don't look, well, bright.
T.C.: It's all a misunderstanding judge.
Judge: Oh? How so?
T.C.: It's guilt by association.
Judge: Really? Sez here Gary 'The Paper Clipper' Randazzo ratted you out.
T.C.: Gary? I can no be-lif! Me and Gar go back. Way back.
Judge: Do explain.
T.C.: One time, Gary had a pocket knife and was hungry. So he decided he wanted an Aero bar. Wait...bad story.
Judge: Mr. T.C., I don't think you quite grasp the seriousness of these charges. Randazzo says you are the head of a criminal global enterprise.
T.C.: I don't understand.
Judge: He says you are the king of the mafia.
T.C.: Well, they used to say I was king of...
Lawyer: You're honor we request bail to be set at $1000. Clearly my client is incapable of running a kitchen let alone a criminal enterprise.
Judge: I'm not so sure. I've seen mobsters play dumb before. He seems clever to me.
T.C.: Thank you your honor.
(Looks back at wife and sticks tongue out. She face palms).
Judge: Bail is set at $500 000 and Mr. T.C. will surrender his passport.
T.C.: Holy shit! For slide tackling Randazzo on the pitch?
Lawyer: It's ok. I'll fix it.
T.C.: That's what you said last time.
Lawyer: Last time? It's the first I'm representing you.
T.C.: I looked into your brief case. Nothing but phony papers and an apple.
Lawyer to wife: We have problems.
(Bailiffs take T.C. away)
T.C.: I'll be back. I swear. I didn't mean to charge into him that way. Randazzo!!!!