Obama Now Wants To Bail Out Newspapers

Ok. Let's get it over and done with. Get President Obama a Superman outfit!

Ta-dah! I'm Professo!

"Get me my Victorian red boots, Gobbi! Print needs our help!"

"Y-yes. Professo."

"And get me a cranberry, ginger basil oatmeal kamut granola bar. I need to set a good example. Check my breath."

"All good sir, shall I warn parents about your pending arrival into their homes?"

"Nah. That won't be necessary. I gots me a nice gig on Letterman. I'll preach there. I hope people won't make fun of my ears. Kids can be so cru-elle!"

"Yes, they can, Professo."

"Good day my midget friend. Dash and off I go! Oh and tell Mich how much I love her truly madly."

"Yes, now git."

Here's an excerpt about Obama being open to help newspapers. Nothing like trying to fight the ebb and flow of change and technology with good old taxpayer dollars:


"I am concerned that if the direction of the news is all blogosphere, all opinions, with no serious fact-checking, no serious attempts to put stories in context, that what you will end up getting is people shouting at each other across the void but not a lot of mutual understanding," he said.

Why does he feel the need to comment on everything?

Prior to the aforementioned passage, White House Press Secretary had this to say:

In early May, Gibbs said that while he hadn't asked the president specifically about bailout options for newspapers, "I don't know what, in all honesty, government can do about it."

Y-y-you mean, there limits to what government can do? Noooooooooooooooooo!!! Is, can, can it mean the scope of the government's long, unwelcoming arms have reached its apex?

Anyway. If Bush was inattentive to the people's will, then what the heck is Obama doing with the bail out? Is he not gauging just how upset people are about this?

Call me a conspiracy nut here but let's see: First, the banks, then the automobile industry, he's after health (one-sixth of the economy) and now newspapers?

I think we have a four-of-a-kind here, folks. Government holds the right cards. And the people?

Aw, but come on! All he's doing is "cleaning up a mess!"

If you believe that, then, well, mebbe you should just go lie down for a long while. Sleeping Beauty long.