People always ask "In what way can you briefly describe and define Canada?" My life has determined that the answer came in two stages.
In the first stage, I, a stubborn proud Canadian patriot, would have answered "A strong, proud and independent nation that understood its role and position. Canada carved a great spot among the great and enlightened nations despite the obstacles in her way including the United States. Indeed, what we could be if they did not exist! It was time to defend Canadian interests, so long ignored and forgotten. Canadian values were supreme. We had a great history that was simply misunderstood and not conveyed properly."
Today, Canada to me is but a mere collection of cronies and buffoons operating in a cesspool of incompetence and swimming in delusional ideals. Void of any responsibility and accountability, it is a sloth nation that creates its wealth on margin. Born elsewhere, Canada is where statesmanship comes to hide and eventually die. The good spirit in Canada is silent. It should be resurrected. If not, be conceived. This country needs to be gutted. A true new spirit must be forged.
March 8, 2005.
2005-03-08
2005-03-07
Max: Why I Think I'm Not Employable
I despise inefficency. I despise it more when it is met with mediocre minds. There's no worse place (besides perhaps the insurance companies) where this fact is apparent than with the bank industry. I have nothing against the concept of banks. I am not anti-capitalist or an insane reactionary Luddite. The structure within it is what irritates me. It is cumbersome and unimaginative.
People ask if I ever plan to jump back into financial servies. Not if I have to go through another fucken interview process. There is not worse ritual to which I can submit myself to thatn the fucking interview. It is here we find the most lamentable queries one can ever encounter in their lives....assuming they are rich in creativity and imagination. Where do I see myself in five years? A rhetorical question in an environment where philosophy is routinely murdered by serial killers?
Like any corporation, one must try and guess which person has the knives hidden. In this climate of paranoia, decisions are made from narrow-minded angles. Rarely do the clients come into the equation. Banks have refined their rhetoric to make it seem like the custimer comes first.....but they don't. Customers aren't stupid and neither are the employees. Idiocy lives in the halls of management. Like dust, it will not leave unless swept away. To sweep it, one needs conviction. Alas, the benches of the banks are a cesspool of cronyism with half-baked bankers. Don't be fooled, behind all those sexy egg sandwiches lay the stench of rotten hatched eggs.
For the nine years their hands fed me, it was amazing to see how many times the bank was under constant 'restructuring'. Which, no doubt, after a while comes to mean and reveal incompetence. One of the methods they used to launch their evil plots was the board meeting. A place where mysterious people come to spew their occult visions. It is almost always led by the leader. The boss almost always has a certain 'do you know how many times my dick was sucked' flair to him and his bimbette side-kick and her 'do you know how many dicks I sucked' blank stare.
It is within this climate of unprofessionalism I became aware that I was unemployable in the corporate world. I simply could not play into their low standards. As such, the ladder was never going to be climbed. The people at the top would have always greased the ladder with snakes and oil. Precious few minds in the bank are enlightened. If they are, you can rest assured their days are numbered. Smart people can't stay too long under such a pathetic regime of babbling fools. If they do, it's because they honestly feel things can change. Sorta like politics. After being corroded and jaded themselves, they come to realize that the only change the bank wants is the customers. Finding that one cultured person to talk to at board meetings or conventions were as rare as catching a glimpse of a lynx in the mountains. Such people have little place to exist within the confines of the blue and grey atmosphere of the bank.
I carved my own little semi-professional para-military militia army while I was there. It would have helped that I took the job a little more seriously. But then again, it was difficult after seeing so many stupid cutomers and imbecilic management decisions. I was a comedic absurdist among spiritless androids! The lack of imagination displayed was shocking. Hey, some people feel comfortable within those walls and good on them. Me? I just could not take it anymore.
There was an episode during my tenure in one of the divisions I worked in that were the best days of my employment. This story, my 4 or 5 readers, is for another time.
People ask if I ever plan to jump back into financial servies. Not if I have to go through another fucken interview process. There is not worse ritual to which I can submit myself to thatn the fucking interview. It is here we find the most lamentable queries one can ever encounter in their lives....assuming they are rich in creativity and imagination. Where do I see myself in five years? A rhetorical question in an environment where philosophy is routinely murdered by serial killers?
Like any corporation, one must try and guess which person has the knives hidden. In this climate of paranoia, decisions are made from narrow-minded angles. Rarely do the clients come into the equation. Banks have refined their rhetoric to make it seem like the custimer comes first.....but they don't. Customers aren't stupid and neither are the employees. Idiocy lives in the halls of management. Like dust, it will not leave unless swept away. To sweep it, one needs conviction. Alas, the benches of the banks are a cesspool of cronyism with half-baked bankers. Don't be fooled, behind all those sexy egg sandwiches lay the stench of rotten hatched eggs.
For the nine years their hands fed me, it was amazing to see how many times the bank was under constant 'restructuring'. Which, no doubt, after a while comes to mean and reveal incompetence. One of the methods they used to launch their evil plots was the board meeting. A place where mysterious people come to spew their occult visions. It is almost always led by the leader. The boss almost always has a certain 'do you know how many times my dick was sucked' flair to him and his bimbette side-kick and her 'do you know how many dicks I sucked' blank stare.
It is within this climate of unprofessionalism I became aware that I was unemployable in the corporate world. I simply could not play into their low standards. As such, the ladder was never going to be climbed. The people at the top would have always greased the ladder with snakes and oil. Precious few minds in the bank are enlightened. If they are, you can rest assured their days are numbered. Smart people can't stay too long under such a pathetic regime of babbling fools. If they do, it's because they honestly feel things can change. Sorta like politics. After being corroded and jaded themselves, they come to realize that the only change the bank wants is the customers. Finding that one cultured person to talk to at board meetings or conventions were as rare as catching a glimpse of a lynx in the mountains. Such people have little place to exist within the confines of the blue and grey atmosphere of the bank.
I carved my own little semi-professional para-military militia army while I was there. It would have helped that I took the job a little more seriously. But then again, it was difficult after seeing so many stupid cutomers and imbecilic management decisions. I was a comedic absurdist among spiritless androids! The lack of imagination displayed was shocking. Hey, some people feel comfortable within those walls and good on them. Me? I just could not take it anymore.
There was an episode during my tenure in one of the divisions I worked in that were the best days of my employment. This story, my 4 or 5 readers, is for another time.
2005-03-06
Max: An Unemployed Confession of Love
The rain came in today. It eventually gave way to the sun.
'Her brains they rattle and her bones they shake. Whoah, she's an angel from the Innerlake. Thundercrack, baby's back.....My heart's wood, she's a carpenter. She's an angel in the night, what she does is alright. Dance with me partner, 'til the dawn...' Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, 1973.
'I never felt magic crazy as this. I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea. I never held emotion in the plam of my hand. Or felt sweet breezes in the top of the tree. But now you're here. Brighten my northern sky....' Nick Drake, 1970.
I was thinking of Simone today. We met 11 years ago. I haven't seen her or heard from her in at least 8 years. Yet, she remains a part of me.
It was a typical Montreal night and my friends and I were out celebrating a birthday. This night had a different feel to it from the start. It was as if the kinetic energy of all North America connected all kindred souls. I did not know what I was in for later that night. We were free and we may as well been running to nowhere. After we left the restaurant, we went walking the streets of hip Mtl. smoking cigars and having a laugh. At one point, our Tuscan romantic boyhood pal Massimo, spotted three girls up ahead and he swore to stop them. He did and the rest was history.
Everything seemed that much more pronounced that night. The city's architechture was more crisp in its art, the streets more alive, as the backdrop of the black sky littered with majestic stars, allowed for me to notice her brilliant green eyes that locked into mine. She didn't say much but she struck me as a classy and confident dame. Right there she was my baby. The seven of us walked for hours but only 5 were talking. Simone and I, stunned by the occurrence, were trying to figure out what was happening. We stayed together until 5am.
Her friends were from Calgary and she was from Vancouver. They were all studying French in Quebec City. I was more than willing to let things go, but my buddy, sharp and quick as ever, knew that I was tined by her. Even though we hadn't talked all that much, he sensed it. I'm not surprised, as we have known each other for over 30 years. It turns out her friends thought the same. At their genuine request and subsequent insistence, we (5 of us this time) met the next day. I resolved to be my normal self (as I am sure she did also). It did not happen. It took us a while to work through the fantastic energy and sparks that confused us. Like the night before, there was a quiet sensuality about her that encapsulated me. She kept me in a vortex of romantic perplexity.
After two days, they had to head back to Quebec. Our spirits danced around us but our lips, the representatives of flesh, had not met yet. Our eyes were forever locked in magnificent tightness but other body parts were yet to join in. Oddly enough, that was fine by me. And by her. There was something bigger at work. Before she left, she gave me her telephone coordinates in Quebec. This was done more out of respect and courtesy as deep down we did not think this was going to go any further. Really, how could it? I can just picture our parents asking us to be realistic. To drop the Bohemian act. It was going to be just one of the moments in our lives not to be pursued. End of that. The ghosts of pragmatism were whispering into our ears to let it go.....but we didn't. Something forced us to try. I kissed her with great honor. It was a bold but dignified kiss. Our intuitive conservative splendor, mixed in with sexy coy postering, served us well.
Once again, our best friends insisted we meet again. They saw in us something of great marvel. We ended up spending a couple of more days together and this time we were closer. It was slow but deliberate in a natural and organic way. It's as if we felt that there was no other way. The rest of the week, we spoke on the phone and I even surprised her with another drive up the night before she was leaving. She met me with her sweet smile that was more significant to me than ever. She, on her part, had just finished imagining to herself what it would be like if I came to see her one last time. No sooner than she dropped the dream I rang her dorm room. Crazy moon we must have wondered.
The night she left, Massimo and I were in a park two hours away. I told him that I had to see her before she left. I asked him if he wanted to drive with me to Quebec (my third time and his second in 5 days). She was not taking flight for another few hours so it was a feasible endeavour. Like any good buddy, he agreed. He knew what this meant to me. At the time, Mass and I were a couple of eclectic kids who played games by our rules. But Simone, in one giant eagle-like swoop, changed this that summer. With her friends already gone, we got her before she left and drove her to the airport. Massimo gave us a few minutes. We held each other in perpetuity. I distinctly recall the puzzling and mysterious Mona Lisa smile of an elderly lady. She was saying, without verbalizing, that our moment was like ether. Public displays of affection are not my strong points. To myself everything stays. Not on this night. She left. My knees crumpled and my heart tightened. Was this the end?
Massimo said all the right things. I didn't say a word until I wondered out loud what was going on. Was this real? Dang it, she was not even my typical type! Far from it. Yet....yet....
A year later we went to visit Simone in Vancouver. During that time we wrote a lot and sent each pictures. We would speak on the phone often and would call each other after a night out on the town. Like two displaced tramps we could do nothing else but. I would even be filled with jealousy whenever she mentioned, however innocently, another man.
Her brother, after a brotherly observation, also immediately understood our bond. Nonetheless, she was distant from me on that trip. She never had to tell me but I knew she was afraid. She did not want to get close and then get hurt. I responded by suggesting we take a page out of the book of corny cliches and live for that moment. In one of the most uncharasteristic moments in my life that has never been repeated (and likely never will be), I asked her to dance in a public square while Sinatra's 'I've got you under my skin' played. My buddy later told me that this cheesey Hollywood scene was the coolest thing he had ever seen. People were all asking about who we were as they stood smiling. They all knew this was a genuine thing they were witnessing. It was like something right out of a Springsteen love story.
When I returned home I asked her with all the reverence of a medieval knight, once we would hang up the phone, to count to 30 and play a tape I left her. The first song was Van Morrison's 'Tupelo Honey' (the greatest love ballad in rock history). I counted to 30 and together we listened to the pureness time had accorded us.
A year after that, she went to Toronto to visit her cousins. I went to meet her. We had always wanted to go for a dinner and a movie like a normal couple. In Toronto, we had our chance and we took it. I'll never forget dinner that night. Overlooking the metropolis, I saw something in her that was so beautiful I still can't construct a sentence with the proper words. I kept contemplating her eyes, lips and face. It was so intense that, literally, my action was measured in nano-seconds. She sensed this and let me marvel. I did not need to ask if she was caught with same ardour. Our state of consciousness was invincible that wondrous night.
Later, after two years, we made love. Strangely and remarkably, I sensed that our souls were watching from afar. Something was askew. Not in a disturbing way. It just felt, for the first time, we needed an alignment. Maybe we were so excited it made us nervous. The moment was cherished and real but it was as if our spirits were momentarily disconnected. Our subconscience logic, perhaps (?), was not as optmisitc as our hearts. Now that I look back, it doesn't surprise me that it was this way. We were perfectly balanced and we simply got caught off guard in some way. It's still, above all, something to remember with fondness.
I drove her to a gas station the next day where her cousin was going to meet her. On the way there I asked her if we were in love. She did not answer. At the station, we held each other. I whispered to her that I didn't want to let her go again. She whispered back that she loved me. I never saw Simone again after that beautiful May morning.
I wrote to her after that but she never wrote back. One of my last letters I wrote her that I was involved in a serious relationship. I'm not sure why I did it. I just felt like I needed to tell her. It was also only fair to my girlfriend. Not that she ever knew.
I think about her quite a bit. 11 years later, I still feel her majestic aura. Her image is forever tatooed in my imagination....as this is what she is now. But she was and is a real imagined person in my mind. A person, that for 3 years I loved like I loved no other. She was mine. I wonder if she thinks about me as I do of her. In my heart, I can only hope that she does. Perhaps one day? Is this foolhardy? One can only give thanks for having met her. Hope she is doing well. Sinatra and Morrison beckon.
'Her brains they rattle and her bones they shake. Whoah, she's an angel from the Innerlake. Thundercrack, baby's back.....My heart's wood, she's a carpenter. She's an angel in the night, what she does is alright. Dance with me partner, 'til the dawn...' Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, 1973.
'I never felt magic crazy as this. I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea. I never held emotion in the plam of my hand. Or felt sweet breezes in the top of the tree. But now you're here. Brighten my northern sky....' Nick Drake, 1970.
I was thinking of Simone today. We met 11 years ago. I haven't seen her or heard from her in at least 8 years. Yet, she remains a part of me.
It was a typical Montreal night and my friends and I were out celebrating a birthday. This night had a different feel to it from the start. It was as if the kinetic energy of all North America connected all kindred souls. I did not know what I was in for later that night. We were free and we may as well been running to nowhere. After we left the restaurant, we went walking the streets of hip Mtl. smoking cigars and having a laugh. At one point, our Tuscan romantic boyhood pal Massimo, spotted three girls up ahead and he swore to stop them. He did and the rest was history.
Everything seemed that much more pronounced that night. The city's architechture was more crisp in its art, the streets more alive, as the backdrop of the black sky littered with majestic stars, allowed for me to notice her brilliant green eyes that locked into mine. She didn't say much but she struck me as a classy and confident dame. Right there she was my baby. The seven of us walked for hours but only 5 were talking. Simone and I, stunned by the occurrence, were trying to figure out what was happening. We stayed together until 5am.
Her friends were from Calgary and she was from Vancouver. They were all studying French in Quebec City. I was more than willing to let things go, but my buddy, sharp and quick as ever, knew that I was tined by her. Even though we hadn't talked all that much, he sensed it. I'm not surprised, as we have known each other for over 30 years. It turns out her friends thought the same. At their genuine request and subsequent insistence, we (5 of us this time) met the next day. I resolved to be my normal self (as I am sure she did also). It did not happen. It took us a while to work through the fantastic energy and sparks that confused us. Like the night before, there was a quiet sensuality about her that encapsulated me. She kept me in a vortex of romantic perplexity.
After two days, they had to head back to Quebec. Our spirits danced around us but our lips, the representatives of flesh, had not met yet. Our eyes were forever locked in magnificent tightness but other body parts were yet to join in. Oddly enough, that was fine by me. And by her. There was something bigger at work. Before she left, she gave me her telephone coordinates in Quebec. This was done more out of respect and courtesy as deep down we did not think this was going to go any further. Really, how could it? I can just picture our parents asking us to be realistic. To drop the Bohemian act. It was going to be just one of the moments in our lives not to be pursued. End of that. The ghosts of pragmatism were whispering into our ears to let it go.....but we didn't. Something forced us to try. I kissed her with great honor. It was a bold but dignified kiss. Our intuitive conservative splendor, mixed in with sexy coy postering, served us well.
Once again, our best friends insisted we meet again. They saw in us something of great marvel. We ended up spending a couple of more days together and this time we were closer. It was slow but deliberate in a natural and organic way. It's as if we felt that there was no other way. The rest of the week, we spoke on the phone and I even surprised her with another drive up the night before she was leaving. She met me with her sweet smile that was more significant to me than ever. She, on her part, had just finished imagining to herself what it would be like if I came to see her one last time. No sooner than she dropped the dream I rang her dorm room. Crazy moon we must have wondered.
The night she left, Massimo and I were in a park two hours away. I told him that I had to see her before she left. I asked him if he wanted to drive with me to Quebec (my third time and his second in 5 days). She was not taking flight for another few hours so it was a feasible endeavour. Like any good buddy, he agreed. He knew what this meant to me. At the time, Mass and I were a couple of eclectic kids who played games by our rules. But Simone, in one giant eagle-like swoop, changed this that summer. With her friends already gone, we got her before she left and drove her to the airport. Massimo gave us a few minutes. We held each other in perpetuity. I distinctly recall the puzzling and mysterious Mona Lisa smile of an elderly lady. She was saying, without verbalizing, that our moment was like ether. Public displays of affection are not my strong points. To myself everything stays. Not on this night. She left. My knees crumpled and my heart tightened. Was this the end?
Massimo said all the right things. I didn't say a word until I wondered out loud what was going on. Was this real? Dang it, she was not even my typical type! Far from it. Yet....yet....
A year later we went to visit Simone in Vancouver. During that time we wrote a lot and sent each pictures. We would speak on the phone often and would call each other after a night out on the town. Like two displaced tramps we could do nothing else but. I would even be filled with jealousy whenever she mentioned, however innocently, another man.
Her brother, after a brotherly observation, also immediately understood our bond. Nonetheless, she was distant from me on that trip. She never had to tell me but I knew she was afraid. She did not want to get close and then get hurt. I responded by suggesting we take a page out of the book of corny cliches and live for that moment. In one of the most uncharasteristic moments in my life that has never been repeated (and likely never will be), I asked her to dance in a public square while Sinatra's 'I've got you under my skin' played. My buddy later told me that this cheesey Hollywood scene was the coolest thing he had ever seen. People were all asking about who we were as they stood smiling. They all knew this was a genuine thing they were witnessing. It was like something right out of a Springsteen love story.
When I returned home I asked her with all the reverence of a medieval knight, once we would hang up the phone, to count to 30 and play a tape I left her. The first song was Van Morrison's 'Tupelo Honey' (the greatest love ballad in rock history). I counted to 30 and together we listened to the pureness time had accorded us.
A year after that, she went to Toronto to visit her cousins. I went to meet her. We had always wanted to go for a dinner and a movie like a normal couple. In Toronto, we had our chance and we took it. I'll never forget dinner that night. Overlooking the metropolis, I saw something in her that was so beautiful I still can't construct a sentence with the proper words. I kept contemplating her eyes, lips and face. It was so intense that, literally, my action was measured in nano-seconds. She sensed this and let me marvel. I did not need to ask if she was caught with same ardour. Our state of consciousness was invincible that wondrous night.
Later, after two years, we made love. Strangely and remarkably, I sensed that our souls were watching from afar. Something was askew. Not in a disturbing way. It just felt, for the first time, we needed an alignment. Maybe we were so excited it made us nervous. The moment was cherished and real but it was as if our spirits were momentarily disconnected. Our subconscience logic, perhaps (?), was not as optmisitc as our hearts. Now that I look back, it doesn't surprise me that it was this way. We were perfectly balanced and we simply got caught off guard in some way. It's still, above all, something to remember with fondness.
I drove her to a gas station the next day where her cousin was going to meet her. On the way there I asked her if we were in love. She did not answer. At the station, we held each other. I whispered to her that I didn't want to let her go again. She whispered back that she loved me. I never saw Simone again after that beautiful May morning.
I wrote to her after that but she never wrote back. One of my last letters I wrote her that I was involved in a serious relationship. I'm not sure why I did it. I just felt like I needed to tell her. It was also only fair to my girlfriend. Not that she ever knew.
I think about her quite a bit. 11 years later, I still feel her majestic aura. Her image is forever tatooed in my imagination....as this is what she is now. But she was and is a real imagined person in my mind. A person, that for 3 years I loved like I loved no other. She was mine. I wonder if she thinks about me as I do of her. In my heart, I can only hope that she does. Perhaps one day? Is this foolhardy? One can only give thanks for having met her. Hope she is doing well. Sinatra and Morrison beckon.
Max Xam: Not Employed and Loving it
I have a pimple on my ass.
I was watching the Super Friends and two things came to mind. One, the intro had Aquaman and Wonder Woman flying. Since when do they fly? Two, they were described as the "...greatest force of good ever assembled..." Good vs. evil. Post mdoern relativists would not be able to watch these cartoons. Why do we invent such heroes? Is it because the existence of evil is omnipotent? That it seems so over whelming at times that only superheroes can save us? Fantastic creations for fantastic social problems.I'll tell you. Sometimes I wish that Captain America, Green Lantern, Batman, Spider-Man, Superman and other heroes did exist to rid us of corrupt politicians and the new modern scourge known as terrorists. While we're at it, the evil drug cartels.
I was thinking about 9/11 today. I thought of two things. The morally depraved reactions of some so-called intellectuals and some people. Their perceptions about America were and are so off-based it's pathetic. Then again, what more do you want from a nation of freeloaders? The other thing I thought about was when the U.S. decided (rightly) to invade Iraq, I recall naive losers volunteering to got to Iraq as human shields. I remember one woman in particular who was willing to leave HER FAMILY for this exercise in futility and stupidity. She should have been thrown in prsion for her attempts. Turns out, that many who went were made pawns in the Iraqi game. WHAT?! It can't be! Fools. May God rest the souls of the victims and may Iraq find peace and harmony now that they are free. No thanks to the shields of idiocy.
Last but not last least my buddies and I went cross-skiing tonight. It was a majestic -22 degrees. At one point we hit a long deep narrow slope. We each took a turn going down. As we all did so and moved out of the way our heads were all turned to Jeebies. Jeebies was wearing a parka that only the Inuit would wear. Within two secons, he was tumbling down all the way until he reached us. Without losing a beat he got up and in one motion reached into his front pockets for a light and a joint - 'that's when I light up' he said. Hilarious.
I was watching the Super Friends and two things came to mind. One, the intro had Aquaman and Wonder Woman flying. Since when do they fly? Two, they were described as the "...greatest force of good ever assembled..." Good vs. evil. Post mdoern relativists would not be able to watch these cartoons. Why do we invent such heroes? Is it because the existence of evil is omnipotent? That it seems so over whelming at times that only superheroes can save us? Fantastic creations for fantastic social problems.I'll tell you. Sometimes I wish that Captain America, Green Lantern, Batman, Spider-Man, Superman and other heroes did exist to rid us of corrupt politicians and the new modern scourge known as terrorists. While we're at it, the evil drug cartels.
I was thinking about 9/11 today. I thought of two things. The morally depraved reactions of some so-called intellectuals and some people. Their perceptions about America were and are so off-based it's pathetic. Then again, what more do you want from a nation of freeloaders? The other thing I thought about was when the U.S. decided (rightly) to invade Iraq, I recall naive losers volunteering to got to Iraq as human shields. I remember one woman in particular who was willing to leave HER FAMILY for this exercise in futility and stupidity. She should have been thrown in prsion for her attempts. Turns out, that many who went were made pawns in the Iraqi game. WHAT?! It can't be! Fools. May God rest the souls of the victims and may Iraq find peace and harmony now that they are free. No thanks to the shields of idiocy.
Last but not last least my buddies and I went cross-skiing tonight. It was a majestic -22 degrees. At one point we hit a long deep narrow slope. We each took a turn going down. As we all did so and moved out of the way our heads were all turned to Jeebies. Jeebies was wearing a parka that only the Inuit would wear. Within two secons, he was tumbling down all the way until he reached us. Without losing a beat he got up and in one motion reached into his front pockets for a light and a joint - 'that's when I light up' he said. Hilarious.
2005-03-04
Occam's Razor for Dummies
Here's a piece of advice for 9/11 conspiracy theorists who barely can tell the difference between speculation and fact - Occam's Razor states, in its most recent and watered-down version, that the simplest explanation is probably the correct one.
Some may misinterpret OR and reverse it. They will erroneously claim that OR proves there is a conspiracy. It makes no such thing. In fact, conspiracies by their nature are complex and elaborate - how does this fit with OR?
It may be medieval in its simple logic, but it sure helps to keep things in perspective. Humans are complex yet simple creatures in many ways.
Some may misinterpret OR and reverse it. They will erroneously claim that OR proves there is a conspiracy. It makes no such thing. In fact, conspiracies by their nature are complex and elaborate - how does this fit with OR?
It may be medieval in its simple logic, but it sure helps to keep things in perspective. Humans are complex yet simple creatures in many ways.
Max: It's the Week-End Edition. $2.
Today I was lying on my bed watching my mother fold clothes. I was over at my folks place and was sleeping on my old bed when mumsy entered the room with the laundry. I just lay there. She told me to go home. I told her, in turn, only if she prepared me a care package which included pasta con piseli. The real way with lemmon and peas AND NO CREAM. And definitely no fricken milk at the table. What the fuck is that? None of this North Americanized criminal crap that passes as Italian food these days.
"...Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came..." Straightforward, simple and true. It cuts right to the core of how some people feel. I got up this morning yearning for such a place but I could not find one. The place I go to for a latte caffe harldy knows me. I'm not the most congenial of people but it would be nice for once for people to yell 'Norm!" to me. I have so much to share.
Why don't celebrities just buy an island and create their own republic? They are so busy pointing out how bad we are why don't they go set up their own government somehwere and let's see what these trailer trash narcissists come up with. NOW THAT WOULD BE ENTERTAINMENT. Here would be some of the forepersons involved: Sir Elton Prima Donna John, Mad-Donna, Danny 'Lethal Activist' Glover, Susan 'I'm too smart for the whole lot-of-ya' Sarandon, Martin 'I play a President on tv' Sheen, Rosie 'I'm not really that amusing' O'Donnell, Tim 'Foreign Policy Expert' Robbins, Jeanine 'I'm not so funny anymore wannabe intellectual' Garafalo, Ben 'I don't vote but you should' Affleck, Barbara 'You don't dare bring me flowers' Streisand, Leonardo 'Vote Kerry?' DiCaprio and the supreme dictator Jane 'Talleyrand' Fonda. Not quite Madison, Franklin and Jefferson but hey. You gotta start somewhere. I would love to see what system they choose. I could add some intellectuals and journalists to the list but I figure this bunch would degenerate into civil war within days.
Other than that I went skating and slapped the puck around like it was my bitch. You should have seen me, friends. I was Doug Harvey and Bobby Orr rolled into one. I blasted that puck like there was no tomorrow. People were cheering and saying things like 'Hey, don't shoot so hard the kids have no equipment' and 'what are you some freak?' I bodychecked a few kids and cross checked some old people (because they clog up traffic. Mandatory driving lessons at 65 I say) and came home and had my pasta.
Without fail. I will get into why I think I'm unemployable in my next edition. Until then, hang in there. Things could be worse.
"...Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came..." Straightforward, simple and true. It cuts right to the core of how some people feel. I got up this morning yearning for such a place but I could not find one. The place I go to for a latte caffe harldy knows me. I'm not the most congenial of people but it would be nice for once for people to yell 'Norm!" to me. I have so much to share.
Why don't celebrities just buy an island and create their own republic? They are so busy pointing out how bad we are why don't they go set up their own government somehwere and let's see what these trailer trash narcissists come up with. NOW THAT WOULD BE ENTERTAINMENT. Here would be some of the forepersons involved: Sir Elton Prima Donna John, Mad-Donna, Danny 'Lethal Activist' Glover, Susan 'I'm too smart for the whole lot-of-ya' Sarandon, Martin 'I play a President on tv' Sheen, Rosie 'I'm not really that amusing' O'Donnell, Tim 'Foreign Policy Expert' Robbins, Jeanine 'I'm not so funny anymore wannabe intellectual' Garafalo, Ben 'I don't vote but you should' Affleck, Barbara 'You don't dare bring me flowers' Streisand, Leonardo 'Vote Kerry?' DiCaprio and the supreme dictator Jane 'Talleyrand' Fonda. Not quite Madison, Franklin and Jefferson but hey. You gotta start somewhere. I would love to see what system they choose. I could add some intellectuals and journalists to the list but I figure this bunch would degenerate into civil war within days.
Other than that I went skating and slapped the puck around like it was my bitch. You should have seen me, friends. I was Doug Harvey and Bobby Orr rolled into one. I blasted that puck like there was no tomorrow. People were cheering and saying things like 'Hey, don't shoot so hard the kids have no equipment' and 'what are you some freak?' I bodychecked a few kids and cross checked some old people (because they clog up traffic. Mandatory driving lessons at 65 I say) and came home and had my pasta.
Without fail. I will get into why I think I'm unemployable in my next edition. Until then, hang in there. Things could be worse.
2005-03-02
The Max Memoirs: An Exclusive
I saw Jeebies with a girl in his arms. It was weird. Jeebies is not exactly James Bond with women. Not that he's inept. Just particular, peculiar and sometimes oblivious. I remember one time when we were at a pool party and in the evening Jeebies was alone in the pool with some gal (she may have been a skank I can't recall) who was flaunting her enormous tits in his face. She wanted to, I guess, synchronize their lust skin to skin. All of us saw what was going on but there was Jeebies, with his Side Show Bob-like hair, jumping around in the pool like a 5 year-old avoiding her advancements. I'm not sure he even understood what was happening. His non-chalant behaviour was making that broad horny. She simply could not corner him. He was more interested in the telephone cable wiring around the pool than honey dew and cantaloupe. She eventually came out and asked us what was up with our friend. We still don't know.
I went to an Italian bakery for lunch today. Great food. WHile I was looking around one of their signs on the counter said 'Will fill your cannoli." You can interpret this any way you choose.
I went to a private clinic this evening. Don't ask. I noticed a pre-natal class and decided to listen in. The nurse was showing the women breathing techniques. At one point, she asked all the women to get down on all fours on the mats. I don't know, seeing all those women lined up and all primed....my imagination began to spiral off. When that happens I have to run to my happy place. It was too much for me.
Ever notice hwo some people ask so many questions during a presentation? They are so fucking annoying. "Um, what do you mean..." Um this and um that. to those of you who are like this - Keep yer yapper shut. Some of us want to leave on the designated time. Some people just drag the fricken thing longer than it has to. "My friend..." Fuck you and your friend. No one cares. Go home. One time, during my working days, a doctor came in to speak about stress. A co-worker could not stop pretending to be a doctor herself. She was filled with advice and theories. Worse, she kept interrupting and stalling the flow of the presentation. That woman needed a hard knock between the eyes. I was actually trying to listen TO THE DOCTOR. In any event, I'm genetically programmed to be neurotic. Jacked on espresso's, stress and insomnia should be names I give my children....should anyone ever want to procreate with me.
For those of you who offer advice freely without being asked for it- here's a solid piece of advic - Don't. Especially if the advice you're giving is not in your professional domain. All these jackasses giving out free and unsolicited advice about investments and home buying etc. know jack-shit. Pilots and engineers are the worse. Because they burnt the cells that provide social skills while studying complex structures and mathematical equations they think they can figure out the god dang options markets. Stick to finite structures idiot. You know nothing about investments. And the detailed questions...they have to be mentally ill. They're deranged. Here's my theory: Engineers are autitsic. I don't know where on the spectrum but they are. THeyw ere byfar my worse clients......when I was employed.
Some people are literally burnt. I'm convinced, before leaving their homes, that they turn the stove on and place their heads over the burners and burn their heads. It's the only way I can explain the littany of stupidity I am inondated with on a daily basis be it social or political. I can't take these freaks anymore!
I went to an Italian bakery for lunch today. Great food. WHile I was looking around one of their signs on the counter said 'Will fill your cannoli." You can interpret this any way you choose.
I went to a private clinic this evening. Don't ask. I noticed a pre-natal class and decided to listen in. The nurse was showing the women breathing techniques. At one point, she asked all the women to get down on all fours on the mats. I don't know, seeing all those women lined up and all primed....my imagination began to spiral off. When that happens I have to run to my happy place. It was too much for me.
Ever notice hwo some people ask so many questions during a presentation? They are so fucking annoying. "Um, what do you mean..." Um this and um that. to those of you who are like this - Keep yer yapper shut. Some of us want to leave on the designated time. Some people just drag the fricken thing longer than it has to. "My friend..." Fuck you and your friend. No one cares. Go home. One time, during my working days, a doctor came in to speak about stress. A co-worker could not stop pretending to be a doctor herself. She was filled with advice and theories. Worse, she kept interrupting and stalling the flow of the presentation. That woman needed a hard knock between the eyes. I was actually trying to listen TO THE DOCTOR. In any event, I'm genetically programmed to be neurotic. Jacked on espresso's, stress and insomnia should be names I give my children....should anyone ever want to procreate with me.
For those of you who offer advice freely without being asked for it- here's a solid piece of advic - Don't. Especially if the advice you're giving is not in your professional domain. All these jackasses giving out free and unsolicited advice about investments and home buying etc. know jack-shit. Pilots and engineers are the worse. Because they burnt the cells that provide social skills while studying complex structures and mathematical equations they think they can figure out the god dang options markets. Stick to finite structures idiot. You know nothing about investments. And the detailed questions...they have to be mentally ill. They're deranged. Here's my theory: Engineers are autitsic. I don't know where on the spectrum but they are. THeyw ere byfar my worse clients......when I was employed.
Some people are literally burnt. I'm convinced, before leaving their homes, that they turn the stove on and place their heads over the burners and burn their heads. It's the only way I can explain the littany of stupidity I am inondated with on a daily basis be it social or political. I can't take these freaks anymore!
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Canadian orphan who denounces Liberal Party of Canada. Selling passport on ebay (last bid $4). Seeks affluent and successful American family to adopt him. I am a principled citizen who can defend himself. Still cherished long forgotten words like accountability and integrity. If you like this ad please respond.
2005-03-01
The Memoirs of Max the Unemployed Dreamer
Working in the financial services industry was not without its perks. The Visa interst rate was 10.5% and my bank card was the gold kind. It was baically the big shot card where all fees were waived etc. Then, I quit. I think the time has come for me to explain why I left soon.
So, it goes without saying I lost all my employee privileges. Today, I got my BLUE bank card in the mail. Blue meaing I'm just any other shlepp now. I feel like Ray Liotta as Henry Hill in 'Goodfellas' when he said if you weren't a mobster you were a nobody. Anyhow, 9 years of service down the tubes. It hurt. That was cold, man. I wanted to call a compassionate hotline to ask them to just let me keep the employee package wink, wink. But this is the banking world we're talking about. They are 4th in the hiearchy of evil scale behind Satan, insurance companies, and Loto and Lottery gambling outfits. I'm not sure where the government and politcally correct lobbysist fit in there but I'll find a spot for them.
Not much happened to me today. I went to a whore house, went for an espresso with Sofia Loren, wrote an episode of 'The Simpsons' and offered some advice to some Members of Parliament on how to match their ties with their suits. Then, I woke up and went to shovel 16 cm of snow. There was so much snow I uncovered an elderly person with her grocery bags who was buried. Thank God she bought non-perishables.
So, it goes without saying I lost all my employee privileges. Today, I got my BLUE bank card in the mail. Blue meaing I'm just any other shlepp now. I feel like Ray Liotta as Henry Hill in 'Goodfellas' when he said if you weren't a mobster you were a nobody. Anyhow, 9 years of service down the tubes. It hurt. That was cold, man. I wanted to call a compassionate hotline to ask them to just let me keep the employee package wink, wink. But this is the banking world we're talking about. They are 4th in the hiearchy of evil scale behind Satan, insurance companies, and Loto and Lottery gambling outfits. I'm not sure where the government and politcally correct lobbysist fit in there but I'll find a spot for them.
Not much happened to me today. I went to a whore house, went for an espresso with Sofia Loren, wrote an episode of 'The Simpsons' and offered some advice to some Members of Parliament on how to match their ties with their suits. Then, I woke up and went to shovel 16 cm of snow. There was so much snow I uncovered an elderly person with her grocery bags who was buried. Thank God she bought non-perishables.
2005-02-28
The Marvel that is L'Office de la Langue Francaise'
Did you know that here in the the Province of Quebec there exists (and I am not making any of this up) a small bandit bureaucracy called L'Office de la langue Francaise? Quebec is filled with contradictions and this is one of them as the operate in a democracy in a spiritually anti-democratic manner.
What the hell is this you ask? Well, they are self-appointed protectors of a threatened species known as the Quebecois (whom if you remove their tuques and accents could swear they are Americans). They are funded, I think, by the government, and they basically hound and harass hard working, taxpaying, peaceful citizens that actually contribute to the society at large who happen to have some English words on their shops.
You see, English is a cancer to Quebec nationalists who liken themselves to Catalonians and other 'oppressed' peoples. These wimps move about like dirty little wretched dwarfs armed with government legislation and rulers (as in centimetre rulers. They use this to measure the size of English lettering) passing out fines. Believe it or not, if one chooses to ignore this they can find themselves in jail for having an English sign. Spanish is ok. But spit on English.
I remember, on a side note, when Quebec 'thinkers' and 'intellectuals' swooned over the introduction of an archaic nationalist law that eroded individual liberties for all under the guise of protecting the will of the majority. I was a young lad and could not help but see skeletons cheer, in their ignorant magnificence - a law that smelled like it belonged in an era long since passed. From that point on my perception of Quebec politics as being out of step and regressive never changed. Its behaviour continues to baffle albeit in more refined tones. Quebec is not an innovator in philosophical existence. It is a model on what can go wrong.
There's a gradual process of weeding out any remnants of the English fact in Quebec. For this they applaud. They have done all their justifying for such causes. They will get their province. But at what cost? For an oppressed people they sure know how to dump a load of it on others. Are they any better than their former English masters?
To be fair, I am not painting all Quebecers this way. This is an attack an our political and intellectual masters who lag behind the true will of this population. They are closer to '1984' than they think.
Overwhelmingly, most level-headed Quebecers would be aghast at such an organization behaving this way in their names. Alas, the joke may be on the nationalists as a new breed of Quebecers usher in. Confident, bold and intelligent, they may yet prove to be, ironically, the anvil that crushes the 19th century romantic dinosaurs known as L'Office de la langue Francaise.
Perhaps one day we will read about them and say 'how could we have let such a group exist? Were we that petty and insecure?"
What the hell is this you ask? Well, they are self-appointed protectors of a threatened species known as the Quebecois (whom if you remove their tuques and accents could swear they are Americans). They are funded, I think, by the government, and they basically hound and harass hard working, taxpaying, peaceful citizens that actually contribute to the society at large who happen to have some English words on their shops.
You see, English is a cancer to Quebec nationalists who liken themselves to Catalonians and other 'oppressed' peoples. These wimps move about like dirty little wretched dwarfs armed with government legislation and rulers (as in centimetre rulers. They use this to measure the size of English lettering) passing out fines. Believe it or not, if one chooses to ignore this they can find themselves in jail for having an English sign. Spanish is ok. But spit on English.
I remember, on a side note, when Quebec 'thinkers' and 'intellectuals' swooned over the introduction of an archaic nationalist law that eroded individual liberties for all under the guise of protecting the will of the majority. I was a young lad and could not help but see skeletons cheer, in their ignorant magnificence - a law that smelled like it belonged in an era long since passed. From that point on my perception of Quebec politics as being out of step and regressive never changed. Its behaviour continues to baffle albeit in more refined tones. Quebec is not an innovator in philosophical existence. It is a model on what can go wrong.
There's a gradual process of weeding out any remnants of the English fact in Quebec. For this they applaud. They have done all their justifying for such causes. They will get their province. But at what cost? For an oppressed people they sure know how to dump a load of it on others. Are they any better than their former English masters?
To be fair, I am not painting all Quebecers this way. This is an attack an our political and intellectual masters who lag behind the true will of this population. They are closer to '1984' than they think.
Overwhelmingly, most level-headed Quebecers would be aghast at such an organization behaving this way in their names. Alas, the joke may be on the nationalists as a new breed of Quebecers usher in. Confident, bold and intelligent, they may yet prove to be, ironically, the anvil that crushes the 19th century romantic dinosaurs known as L'Office de la langue Francaise.
Perhaps one day we will read about them and say 'how could we have let such a group exist? Were we that petty and insecure?"
2005-02-27
Canada in The Inferno: A Nation of Nowheremen
Nobody likes a fence sitter. Think about how frustrating it is to deal with such a person. Indecisiveness without merit or base is immoral. Playing the role of a virtuous society without committing to its advancement in any meaningful manner is virtue without hope or integrity. Being such a person leaves itself vulnerable to virtuous paganism. We all know that Dante had a place in hell for such citizens.
Canada has become such a person. Its incomprehensible decision to opt out and give up its seat, hence its sovereignty, in anti-missile defense for political expediency has exposed the core skeleton frame of this utterly hollow land. It's not necessarily that they decided against it but rather in how they handled the whole issue. Nor is this restricted to the hellish halls of Parliament, but it finds expression within the walls of modern academia who mistake double-governance (in much the same spirit of double-speak) for prudent defense of Canadian values and interests.
Canadians who support such a ghastly form of phantom leadership can not be blamed since they have been lulled into a world of abominable incompetence. There are no great statesmen in Canada and it looks like there never will be. Canadians have struck a comfort zone with the heinous corruption of modern Liberal polity. In other words, they have accepted that this is as good as it gets. Parochialism has entrenched itself for good within all corners of this land.
Canadians continue to dance and frolic like naked natives leaving romantic footprints in the sand. Perhaps it is time for the United States, for Canada's own good, to simply leave Canada to its own devices? To actually go out and earn back its place among the great nations? That thinking itself as a major player and acting like one are two different things? One thing we are predisposed to remind ourselves of is the great national myth, among many, that we are a peace-loving nation and that this single elusive and unmanageable value is enough to send goodwill messages to madmen and rogue states. As if to say, no doubt, that America is not. That somehow America, in simply defending itself, is inviting, in all its pseudo-liberal nonsense, an attack.
This is not the act of a paranoid and war-like hegemon. Instead, this decision is rooted in prudent and pragmatic, if not sober, realities. America's interest, by virtue of its similar culture to ours, ends up being ours anyway. We tend to bicker about the pointless details that help us to feel better about our precarious self-esteem. The difference between Canada and the U.S. is that America is a global super power that takes this responsibility seriously. Whenever Canada fails to appreciate this fact, it should come as no surprise to thin-skinned Canadians that Americans will humour us. On many fronts Canada has the benefit of being under the radar screen of evil madness. We should be thankful. Up to a point. Canada, its delusional outlook notwithstanding, is under threat whether it chooses to acknowledge this or not. Instead, like spoiled ungrateful teenagers, we spite our parents knowing all along that we are wrong. Teenagers of this sort only tend to grow up when something terrible or embarrassing happens to them.
Finding a thread as to why Canadians engage in hopeless anti-American rhetoric is easy. We have a weak sense of who we are and this becomes apparent when we try and project a view of ourselves that is simply not real. Either Canadians believe there is a terrorist threat or they do not. Most acknowledge its existence but completely misunderstand its nature. To simply say that engaging in a defense pact does not solve the problem of terrorism is besides the point. The United States, not without fact or base, see a global imminent possibility of a missile threat. America's concern is security and to smugly dismiss this as an over reaction is a gross example of utter ignorance. Canada, as mentioned, has the pleasure of being inconsequential. This allows us to pretend and go on playing with our dolls.
Of course, if and when a missile is hurled at Canada, the Canadian government will react like a deer about to be hit by a Mac truck. Imagine, for instance, if Canada had been invaded by the Soviets during the Cold War? The howls demanding that Americans defend us would have been deafening.
Some may think that such a decision, even without explanation, is the right choice. How? Explain how this posture is even remotely beneficial to Canadian interests? One professor from UBC, in refined tones, smugly remarked that the Americans have incredible economic interests here so their anger will be mitigated against such a reality. Say what? His economic math is in dire need of a new lesson.
America can afford a complete shut down of its borders.....to the world. It is our un-diversified and cumbersome economic base that is dangerously tied into the U.S. economy. It is this kind of thinking that concerns me most. We have accepted that it is ok for Canada to say one thing for public consumption so as not to arouse infantile anti-Americanism and do quite another behind the scenes. Where is the honor in this?
Is this a Canadian value at work? Even Pierre Elliott Trudeau invoked the WAR MEASURES ACT when he felt Canada was under threat. This is what leaders do. They act even when the decision is bound to be unpopular. Statesmanship is an outward reflection of a society's collective attitudes, beliefs and values. Canada, by absolving itself of some of the most crucial issues in a post 9/11 global system, projects itself like a thief who shiftily looks around as he escapes. Once he is free he stands erect and claims his place among civil society.
Canadians, it seems, have carefully constructed a world of neat justifications for its banal and hypocritical behaviour. Eternal grafters have all eaten away at the core and soul of this once promising land. Canada sits nowhere but on a fence with its knees, quivering slaves to the omnipotent vote. Which leads me to the following question - What good is a democratic vote when its moral compass has been all but raped of its integrity?
Canada has become such a person. Its incomprehensible decision to opt out and give up its seat, hence its sovereignty, in anti-missile defense for political expediency has exposed the core skeleton frame of this utterly hollow land. It's not necessarily that they decided against it but rather in how they handled the whole issue. Nor is this restricted to the hellish halls of Parliament, but it finds expression within the walls of modern academia who mistake double-governance (in much the same spirit of double-speak) for prudent defense of Canadian values and interests.
Canadians who support such a ghastly form of phantom leadership can not be blamed since they have been lulled into a world of abominable incompetence. There are no great statesmen in Canada and it looks like there never will be. Canadians have struck a comfort zone with the heinous corruption of modern Liberal polity. In other words, they have accepted that this is as good as it gets. Parochialism has entrenched itself for good within all corners of this land.
Canadians continue to dance and frolic like naked natives leaving romantic footprints in the sand. Perhaps it is time for the United States, for Canada's own good, to simply leave Canada to its own devices? To actually go out and earn back its place among the great nations? That thinking itself as a major player and acting like one are two different things? One thing we are predisposed to remind ourselves of is the great national myth, among many, that we are a peace-loving nation and that this single elusive and unmanageable value is enough to send goodwill messages to madmen and rogue states. As if to say, no doubt, that America is not. That somehow America, in simply defending itself, is inviting, in all its pseudo-liberal nonsense, an attack.
This is not the act of a paranoid and war-like hegemon. Instead, this decision is rooted in prudent and pragmatic, if not sober, realities. America's interest, by virtue of its similar culture to ours, ends up being ours anyway. We tend to bicker about the pointless details that help us to feel better about our precarious self-esteem. The difference between Canada and the U.S. is that America is a global super power that takes this responsibility seriously. Whenever Canada fails to appreciate this fact, it should come as no surprise to thin-skinned Canadians that Americans will humour us. On many fronts Canada has the benefit of being under the radar screen of evil madness. We should be thankful. Up to a point. Canada, its delusional outlook notwithstanding, is under threat whether it chooses to acknowledge this or not. Instead, like spoiled ungrateful teenagers, we spite our parents knowing all along that we are wrong. Teenagers of this sort only tend to grow up when something terrible or embarrassing happens to them.
Finding a thread as to why Canadians engage in hopeless anti-American rhetoric is easy. We have a weak sense of who we are and this becomes apparent when we try and project a view of ourselves that is simply not real. Either Canadians believe there is a terrorist threat or they do not. Most acknowledge its existence but completely misunderstand its nature. To simply say that engaging in a defense pact does not solve the problem of terrorism is besides the point. The United States, not without fact or base, see a global imminent possibility of a missile threat. America's concern is security and to smugly dismiss this as an over reaction is a gross example of utter ignorance. Canada, as mentioned, has the pleasure of being inconsequential. This allows us to pretend and go on playing with our dolls.
Of course, if and when a missile is hurled at Canada, the Canadian government will react like a deer about to be hit by a Mac truck. Imagine, for instance, if Canada had been invaded by the Soviets during the Cold War? The howls demanding that Americans defend us would have been deafening.
Some may think that such a decision, even without explanation, is the right choice. How? Explain how this posture is even remotely beneficial to Canadian interests? One professor from UBC, in refined tones, smugly remarked that the Americans have incredible economic interests here so their anger will be mitigated against such a reality. Say what? His economic math is in dire need of a new lesson.
America can afford a complete shut down of its borders.....to the world. It is our un-diversified and cumbersome economic base that is dangerously tied into the U.S. economy. It is this kind of thinking that concerns me most. We have accepted that it is ok for Canada to say one thing for public consumption so as not to arouse infantile anti-Americanism and do quite another behind the scenes. Where is the honor in this?
Is this a Canadian value at work? Even Pierre Elliott Trudeau invoked the WAR MEASURES ACT when he felt Canada was under threat. This is what leaders do. They act even when the decision is bound to be unpopular. Statesmanship is an outward reflection of a society's collective attitudes, beliefs and values. Canada, by absolving itself of some of the most crucial issues in a post 9/11 global system, projects itself like a thief who shiftily looks around as he escapes. Once he is free he stands erect and claims his place among civil society.
Canadians, it seems, have carefully constructed a world of neat justifications for its banal and hypocritical behaviour. Eternal grafters have all eaten away at the core and soul of this once promising land. Canada sits nowhere but on a fence with its knees, quivering slaves to the omnipotent vote. Which leads me to the following question - What good is a democratic vote when its moral compass has been all but raped of its integrity?
2005-02-26
Max: Watching 15 cm of Snow Fall Unemployed
There is surely something magical and mystical about snow. Onto itself one snowflake doesn't look like much. Yet, when it accumulates it gathers so much power it's a natural wonder. Like water....
When will we rid ourselves of the criminal, spineless and immoral leaders Canada produces? Ah, not before we rid ourselves of a neat moral diversion! Over to you Bush....
Still waiting for those headlines to come out and say 'What happened to all the money for Tsunami victims?" Then Barbara Walters will interview some little South Pacific guy in his Chateau about the corruption scandal. In turn, we will all wonder in amazement how terrible people can be. Something like that anyway.
Ever notice how much slower the 12 articles or less lines are in a grocery store? I saw an old man drop a cake in the bakery section. He picked it up and............waited for the right moment........TO PUT IT BACK WHENCE HE GOT IT! Now to some, he was a defenseless little old man whom we should feel sorry for. After I got past laughing at him I guess, yeah, poor guy. But when he pulled that stunt he was no different than the rest of us as far as I am concerned. He deserved a beating for what he did. HE WAS GOING TO LET SOMEONE ELSE BUY AND EAT IT! I did what any person with a mild amount of decency would and took it and gave it to the bakers who were watching the whole thing. They thanked me.
Blast from the past: Why did the CFL have two out of its nine clubs named the 'Roughriders'? Were Canadians confused? Bi-zarre.
Does saying the word 'nigger' in the 20s have the same negative connatation it has today? How relevant are Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, and to a lesser extent Spike Lee?
Saw, for some reason after taking a rest from reading 'Don Quixote', Sean Penn wagging his little finger last night at Chris Rock at the Oscars. Doesn't he have to go visit Iran or something so they can practice their deception skills on him? I guess you can fool an actor all of the time after all. I also fell on some girl named Beyonce singing, in way over her head, in French. It was atrocious. Stick to gyrating hoppy (loved that pet) music or whatever it is they call it today....Oh yeah, they call it rhythm and blues. Ha!
Today, I passed by a Quebec nationalist building paying tribute to 'Les Patriotes' and the rebellion of 1837. A rebellion led by an Anglo with an army that included several nationalities. It was less a nationalist movement than it was a rebellion against the oppressive nature of Royal government.
I couldn't help but think about this Province's sometimes exaggerated history. Reminds me of the episode on The Simpsons when Lisa exposes the myth and lies behind the founder of Springfield, Jebediah Springfield. Everything about this history feels so fabricated. Like it was built on the shoulders of thin-skinned academics and ethnic elitists who go into a fit of rage whenever someone dares question this Province's sometimes dubious past. Quebec nationalists basically think their shit don't stink. They hilariously consider themselves above both the white-bread Canadians and 'ignorant' Americans. They are always quick to point out the corruption of both, yet it is this Province that wrote the book on hedonistic corruption. So tired I am of this utterly stupid Canadian debate about Quebec in a post 9/11 world. La, la, la. Dring,dring,dring. Quebec has wondrous potential and does have an interesting history. But it falls by the wayside with the existence of the anti-democratic 'L'office de la langue Francaise'. An outfit whose behaviour adds up to nothing more than public harrassment. But hey, the government tolerates these assholes. That's what happens when you think you are the 'White Niggers of America'. You begin to justify your actions as being just, given this pathetic outlook.
Ever wonder how you would react if Jesus appeared out of the blue in your room as you sleep? Would you freak out? "I don't care who the f you are?!?! You're in my house dripping blood!" Or something like that. God bless him.
When will we rid ourselves of the criminal, spineless and immoral leaders Canada produces? Ah, not before we rid ourselves of a neat moral diversion! Over to you Bush....
Still waiting for those headlines to come out and say 'What happened to all the money for Tsunami victims?" Then Barbara Walters will interview some little South Pacific guy in his Chateau about the corruption scandal. In turn, we will all wonder in amazement how terrible people can be. Something like that anyway.
Ever notice how much slower the 12 articles or less lines are in a grocery store? I saw an old man drop a cake in the bakery section. He picked it up and............waited for the right moment........TO PUT IT BACK WHENCE HE GOT IT! Now to some, he was a defenseless little old man whom we should feel sorry for. After I got past laughing at him I guess, yeah, poor guy. But when he pulled that stunt he was no different than the rest of us as far as I am concerned. He deserved a beating for what he did. HE WAS GOING TO LET SOMEONE ELSE BUY AND EAT IT! I did what any person with a mild amount of decency would and took it and gave it to the bakers who were watching the whole thing. They thanked me.
Blast from the past: Why did the CFL have two out of its nine clubs named the 'Roughriders'? Were Canadians confused? Bi-zarre.
Does saying the word 'nigger' in the 20s have the same negative connatation it has today? How relevant are Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, and to a lesser extent Spike Lee?
Saw, for some reason after taking a rest from reading 'Don Quixote', Sean Penn wagging his little finger last night at Chris Rock at the Oscars. Doesn't he have to go visit Iran or something so they can practice their deception skills on him? I guess you can fool an actor all of the time after all. I also fell on some girl named Beyonce singing, in way over her head, in French. It was atrocious. Stick to gyrating hoppy (loved that pet) music or whatever it is they call it today....Oh yeah, they call it rhythm and blues. Ha!
Today, I passed by a Quebec nationalist building paying tribute to 'Les Patriotes' and the rebellion of 1837. A rebellion led by an Anglo with an army that included several nationalities. It was less a nationalist movement than it was a rebellion against the oppressive nature of Royal government.
I couldn't help but think about this Province's sometimes exaggerated history. Reminds me of the episode on The Simpsons when Lisa exposes the myth and lies behind the founder of Springfield, Jebediah Springfield. Everything about this history feels so fabricated. Like it was built on the shoulders of thin-skinned academics and ethnic elitists who go into a fit of rage whenever someone dares question this Province's sometimes dubious past. Quebec nationalists basically think their shit don't stink. They hilariously consider themselves above both the white-bread Canadians and 'ignorant' Americans. They are always quick to point out the corruption of both, yet it is this Province that wrote the book on hedonistic corruption. So tired I am of this utterly stupid Canadian debate about Quebec in a post 9/11 world. La, la, la. Dring,dring,dring. Quebec has wondrous potential and does have an interesting history. But it falls by the wayside with the existence of the anti-democratic 'L'office de la langue Francaise'. An outfit whose behaviour adds up to nothing more than public harrassment. But hey, the government tolerates these assholes. That's what happens when you think you are the 'White Niggers of America'. You begin to justify your actions as being just, given this pathetic outlook.
Ever wonder how you would react if Jesus appeared out of the blue in your room as you sleep? Would you freak out? "I don't care who the f you are?!?! You're in my house dripping blood!" Or something like that. God bless him.
Max: My Unemployed Nightmares
Finally, I tell it.
The sky is ha azy orange. Form, defined by trees, shrubs and oil drills pumping (for some reason) along a gravel road, are mere black shadows. Lightning present itself in total silence in what seems to be a Southern sky. Styx, one of the rivers of the underworld, is carrying its dead souls. The black and orange contrast fills my heart with dread and fear. I walk around and see nothing. I feel no pulse I hear no wind. Time is still. Just the sound of God is around me. I look around. Suddenly, a man's silhouette appears. I look down and see he is holding a sling blade in one hand and a head, dripping with red blood, in another. Earlier, I HAD heard the screams of a young girl. Just as the face is about to be revealed I awaken.....shaken.
The sky is ha azy orange. Form, defined by trees, shrubs and oil drills pumping (for some reason) along a gravel road, are mere black shadows. Lightning present itself in total silence in what seems to be a Southern sky. Styx, one of the rivers of the underworld, is carrying its dead souls. The black and orange contrast fills my heart with dread and fear. I walk around and see nothing. I feel no pulse I hear no wind. Time is still. Just the sound of God is around me. I look around. Suddenly, a man's silhouette appears. I look down and see he is holding a sling blade in one hand and a head, dripping with red blood, in another. Earlier, I HAD heard the screams of a young girl. Just as the face is about to be revealed I awaken.....shaken.
The Perpendicular George W. Bush
It may just be a personal axiom of mine, but whenever someone attacks somebody else's intelligence and morality, I usually view the person doing the attacking with suspicion. People are so busy blah, blah, bli-ing Bush they have lost all sense of perspective. Green Day's fear of being an 'American idiot' reveals a reoccurring pattern in American history - the constant internal shortchanging of itself. Yet, America always stands firm and on top in spite of pop culture fears. In my opinion, the bigger picture aims of the Bush administration are worthy and deserve some serious pondering.
Ever notice how the truth is often scoffed if not scorned at? The funny thing about the truth is that even when it comes to be realized as self-evident people rarely acknowledged when they once opposed it. Of course, at this point, someone is bound to suggest that truth mean different things to different people. Without getting into Socrates let us assume that certain truths are, shall we say, obvious?
This is the feeling I get about George W. Bush. Who is closer to the truth when it comes to Iraq? His message on foreign policy is actually nothing new. Much has been said of the neo-conservative influence on Bush. The neo-con doctrine seemed to to touch a nerve with his nationalist outlook. But there is another aspect that may be neglected: Bush's attempt to reach out to Wilsonian principles.
Woodrow Wilson (that raving racist liberal) once attempted to convince an old, weary and cynical Europe that it was time to integrate moral imperatives within political frameworks. With the collapse of the Treaty of Westphalia's and its tenets that defend balance of power politics, American politicians and thinkers questioned realpolitik (as it was known). Wilson was laughed off the stage like a cheap vaudeville act. Europeans, not surprisingly, dismissed him as a naive American as their own experience with democracy was limited if not inferiour to the American model.
Fast forward to the present time. How far off is Bush from Wilson's idealism? Is there a parallel to be made between the two? 9/11 offered another go at instilling moral edicts in the political process. Would the reaction had been the same if Bill Clinton sent the Americans into Iraq? Of course, someone could easily say Clinton would not have done it. We'll never know.
The Romans used to say, "...if you want peace, prepare for war." Post 9/11 was a declaration of war on a perceived evil empire. There is nothing neither debatable nor complicated in this. What is complicated are the reasons for this and the stage selected. The only problem is we still don't know if Iraq was really involved given the murderers came from Saudi Arabia and Egypt.
Almost immediately our minds were filled with theories about its occurrence. As usual, the interpretations are based strictly from a narrow postmodern perspective. Relativism has distorted our moral and intellectual compass.
America, I have always maintained, is an ever-changing society that is agile and innovative. Hence, its power base is not just concrete but abstract. America is a different kind of empire that can, theoretically, last forever.
There seems to be a discrepancy between the world's idealistic rhetoric (like Canada for instance) and what they are prepared to do for it. The world lags behind the principles of the American Constitution - one of mankind's greatest documents. Part of the problem, one can argue, is that America has set its standards too high. That human nature can not possibly meet them.
Once again, modern liberal thought reveals its arrogance when it chastises America for coming up short of its ideals. Bush, with the exception of a few, is also perpendicular to accepted and antiquated intellectual elitism. This bugs the hell out of the tweed club. I have yet to see the theocracy so feared take root. Hyperboles are not very becoming but it's all the left seems to have left.
This is not to say that Americans should export its value abroad blindly. Nor am I remotely suggesting people not be critical.
It just needs to be a little more cautious and tactful about it. It is incumbent upon them that they act responsibly and morally. They need not trump it with less chest thumping. .
Ever notice how the truth is often scoffed if not scorned at? The funny thing about the truth is that even when it comes to be realized as self-evident people rarely acknowledged when they once opposed it. Of course, at this point, someone is bound to suggest that truth mean different things to different people. Without getting into Socrates let us assume that certain truths are, shall we say, obvious?
This is the feeling I get about George W. Bush. Who is closer to the truth when it comes to Iraq? His message on foreign policy is actually nothing new. Much has been said of the neo-conservative influence on Bush. The neo-con doctrine seemed to to touch a nerve with his nationalist outlook. But there is another aspect that may be neglected: Bush's attempt to reach out to Wilsonian principles.
Woodrow Wilson (that raving racist liberal) once attempted to convince an old, weary and cynical Europe that it was time to integrate moral imperatives within political frameworks. With the collapse of the Treaty of Westphalia's and its tenets that defend balance of power politics, American politicians and thinkers questioned realpolitik (as it was known). Wilson was laughed off the stage like a cheap vaudeville act. Europeans, not surprisingly, dismissed him as a naive American as their own experience with democracy was limited if not inferiour to the American model.
Fast forward to the present time. How far off is Bush from Wilson's idealism? Is there a parallel to be made between the two? 9/11 offered another go at instilling moral edicts in the political process. Would the reaction had been the same if Bill Clinton sent the Americans into Iraq? Of course, someone could easily say Clinton would not have done it. We'll never know.
The Romans used to say, "...if you want peace, prepare for war." Post 9/11 was a declaration of war on a perceived evil empire. There is nothing neither debatable nor complicated in this. What is complicated are the reasons for this and the stage selected. The only problem is we still don't know if Iraq was really involved given the murderers came from Saudi Arabia and Egypt.
Almost immediately our minds were filled with theories about its occurrence. As usual, the interpretations are based strictly from a narrow postmodern perspective. Relativism has distorted our moral and intellectual compass.
America, I have always maintained, is an ever-changing society that is agile and innovative. Hence, its power base is not just concrete but abstract. America is a different kind of empire that can, theoretically, last forever.
There seems to be a discrepancy between the world's idealistic rhetoric (like Canada for instance) and what they are prepared to do for it. The world lags behind the principles of the American Constitution - one of mankind's greatest documents. Part of the problem, one can argue, is that America has set its standards too high. That human nature can not possibly meet them.
Once again, modern liberal thought reveals its arrogance when it chastises America for coming up short of its ideals. Bush, with the exception of a few, is also perpendicular to accepted and antiquated intellectual elitism. This bugs the hell out of the tweed club. I have yet to see the theocracy so feared take root. Hyperboles are not very becoming but it's all the left seems to have left.
This is not to say that Americans should export its value abroad blindly. Nor am I remotely suggesting people not be critical.
It just needs to be a little more cautious and tactful about it. It is incumbent upon them that they act responsibly and morally. They need not trump it with less chest thumping. .
Canada declines Missile Defense plan
Once upon a time, Canada was slated to be the natural successor of Great Britain to lead the Commonwealth. Early in the 20th century Canada had much going for it. All of a sudden this came to a screeching halt.
Today, Canada is as credible as phrenology. This country has declined to take part in the missile defense plan with the United States. No doubt, short sighted Canadian nationalists will claim victory for the defense of Canadian 'values' as we did not give into American hegemony. Whatever these 'values' entail.
Guess what? The U.S. will still go through with it. All we have done is, ironically, sacrifice Canadian sovereignty as we will have no say in its future in any meaningful manner. Someone should tell the Liberals to not follow polls. Imagine that, the Liberals sided, for political expediency, with the Blockheads and the NDP.
What's even more annoying is that the PM (Prime Meatball) and his Mini-Meatballs expect, EXPECT, to be consulted and briefed by the Americans on any decisions to be made. Let's see, they decline to take part in an exercise that would grant them this privilege but still want the privilege on the cheap? What the hell is going on in Ottawa?
As for Harper, he lost all credibility for not defending vehemently enough the decision. He yapped about its importance and then fell silence when it came down to fighting for it. Their job was to EXPLAIN this to the already delusional Canadian people who still live in a pre 9/11 world. Cripes, we're already part of NORAD!
Today, Canada is as credible as phrenology. This country has declined to take part in the missile defense plan with the United States. No doubt, short sighted Canadian nationalists will claim victory for the defense of Canadian 'values' as we did not give into American hegemony. Whatever these 'values' entail.
Guess what? The U.S. will still go through with it. All we have done is, ironically, sacrifice Canadian sovereignty as we will have no say in its future in any meaningful manner. Someone should tell the Liberals to not follow polls. Imagine that, the Liberals sided, for political expediency, with the Blockheads and the NDP.
What's even more annoying is that the PM (Prime Meatball) and his Mini-Meatballs expect, EXPECT, to be consulted and briefed by the Americans on any decisions to be made. Let's see, they decline to take part in an exercise that would grant them this privilege but still want the privilege on the cheap? What the hell is going on in Ottawa?
As for Harper, he lost all credibility for not defending vehemently enough the decision. He yapped about its importance and then fell silence when it came down to fighting for it. Their job was to EXPLAIN this to the already delusional Canadian people who still live in a pre 9/11 world. Cripes, we're already part of NORAD!
2005-02-25
Max: Stories from the Unemployed Pit
I was in an elevator today. You can tell much about modern society by just observing what happens in an elevator. It used to be the people coming OUT of the elevator had the right of way. This is no longer the etiquette. Today, the people coming in barrel past you as you walk out. It's sickening. I want to open their mouths and spit down their mouths when they do those things.
Another thing that aggravates me is when there is no one else in the elevator and you think it's clear sailing to get to your floor. Until someone's arm separates the closing doors or someone comes dashing in. I always pretend to reach for the 'open door' button and make a gesture like I tried when they actually miss coming in. I'm a jerk? Maybe. But you know what happens to people who offer kind gestures in elevators. That person gets off the floor before you thus extending your ride AND 6 other people ALWAYS follow the person you so kindly let in. AND THEY ARE ALL GETTING OFF BEFORE YOU. Next thing you know you are set back 3 minutes and feel you came off a ride at an amusement park. So fuck social kindness in elevators. Not on my time......Unless, of course, the person coming in is a babe.
I bought 'American Idiot' last week. It's an impressive album. The first song is filled with the usual baby-la-la
I'm-anti-anything-that-makes-no-sense-to-me-especially-Dubya fatalist and their cynical poetry. What is it with people and their fears of being made to look like a fool? Another piece of relativism and post-modern lyrical art...Still, with all the junk the record industry hurls at us, as a music enthusiast I appreciate the effort. Great albums are a rare breed these days.
I find myself dropping in and out of mainstream life conciousness. This whole routine, life, is beginning to get on my nerves. Sometimes I feel like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon to escape.
I still haven't forgotten about why I think I'm unemployable. Just need to find the right time for this.
Another thing that aggravates me is when there is no one else in the elevator and you think it's clear sailing to get to your floor. Until someone's arm separates the closing doors or someone comes dashing in. I always pretend to reach for the 'open door' button and make a gesture like I tried when they actually miss coming in. I'm a jerk? Maybe. But you know what happens to people who offer kind gestures in elevators. That person gets off the floor before you thus extending your ride AND 6 other people ALWAYS follow the person you so kindly let in. AND THEY ARE ALL GETTING OFF BEFORE YOU. Next thing you know you are set back 3 minutes and feel you came off a ride at an amusement park. So fuck social kindness in elevators. Not on my time......Unless, of course, the person coming in is a babe.
I bought 'American Idiot' last week. It's an impressive album. The first song is filled with the usual baby-la-la
I'm-anti-anything-that-makes-no-sense-to-me-especially-Dubya fatalist and their cynical poetry. What is it with people and their fears of being made to look like a fool? Another piece of relativism and post-modern lyrical art...Still, with all the junk the record industry hurls at us, as a music enthusiast I appreciate the effort. Great albums are a rare breed these days.
I find myself dropping in and out of mainstream life conciousness. This whole routine, life, is beginning to get on my nerves. Sometimes I feel like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon to escape.
I still haven't forgotten about why I think I'm unemployable. Just need to find the right time for this.
2005-02-24
Max: More Unemployed Musings'N Rants
Remember Jeebies? I said I would reveal a little about him every once in a while. Too much of him can prove to be exhausting. I was thinking about some of the stupidest things he's ever done. For instance, he once said, with a firm matter of fact raised voice, in a movie line 'cock stuck alert!' as he, well, wiggled and jiggled for effect. I was with a blind date. I'm not sure why he was there. Another time, since we're on the subject, a high school teacher was having a hard time containing his class ( we were all ADD back then). Jeebies, stood up and walked up to
the teacher and told him he could help. The teacher had no time to even answer and Jeebies whipped out his petsel and began banging it on the desk shouting "Order in the class room! Order in the class room! This is not Chinatown!" Until recently I always wondered what he meant by that. Turns out 'Chinatown' was his favorite movie. He figured he would add some twist to his already surreal act of justice...he was 16.
The problem with history is that everyone claims to understand it. The reality is that very few understand it. I have no problem when people read fictional stuff like the 'Da Vinci Code' (which by the way is a poorer version of the original 'The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail'). I begin to get irritated when they sit at a table in casual conversation and try to pass this stuff as historical fact or having a 'different opinion'. This disturbs me. People seem to have trouble telling the difference between history and fact. Of course, everything is under attack these days. History is readily dismissed by those who have an intellectual revisionist agenda. But I won't go there. Suffice to say that this nouveau-breed of historical academics are poisoning true free thought. It's easy to superimpose our present world view (and what we know now) on the past. Needless to say, against this backdrop humans look pretty bad....especially Western history which is not painted very well among these pseudo-thinkers.
What's with all these celebrity bird brains - actually I should amend this. A bird's brain is more complex than we think. A bird has more intelligence than most too-smart-for-this-world celebs. Anyway, watching white trash (and sometimes black trash ghetto) search for meaning in what is obviously, millions notwithstanding, an empty existence, in the Middle East and other ancient religious experiences leaves me extremely unimpressed. Very few of them observed religious moral codes back home, (of course Christianity may as well be paganism with today's bunch of narcissists.) as they made millions acting like nympho-androids. These cookie cutter talented freaks mask their 'art' in carefully choreographed shows. It's like when someone puts cologne on when they haven't showered. Or dress and drown rotten steak with Heinz 57 sauce. Celebrities, who are created by society much like corporations, are a monster that is out of control. They are beginning to flex their muscles as they creep and crawl into various facets of our lives from fashion to politics. They are multi-branching their mini-empires. Leftist lunatic intellects should ponder upon the consequences of this mess. Let me see if I get this straight. Celebs, value their fame because it makes them wealthy. Yet, they want privacy whenever they go somewhere. It's like unionized millionaire athletes. To me, this is an oxymoron. If this is what they want then they have to be prepared tp leave all their fortune behind. They want the best of ALL worlds. Flocking on a pilgrimage to Mecca ain't gonna solve your sad problems. Kicking the coke habit starts from within.
So that people realize I actually contribute to society on some level, I plan to start a charity and business venture soon. There is a story as to how I came to be here. I know, it's a couple of blogs now I say I will tell this story but I will.
the teacher and told him he could help. The teacher had no time to even answer and Jeebies whipped out his petsel and began banging it on the desk shouting "Order in the class room! Order in the class room! This is not Chinatown!" Until recently I always wondered what he meant by that. Turns out 'Chinatown' was his favorite movie. He figured he would add some twist to his already surreal act of justice...he was 16.
The problem with history is that everyone claims to understand it. The reality is that very few understand it. I have no problem when people read fictional stuff like the 'Da Vinci Code' (which by the way is a poorer version of the original 'The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail'). I begin to get irritated when they sit at a table in casual conversation and try to pass this stuff as historical fact or having a 'different opinion'. This disturbs me. People seem to have trouble telling the difference between history and fact. Of course, everything is under attack these days. History is readily dismissed by those who have an intellectual revisionist agenda. But I won't go there. Suffice to say that this nouveau-breed of historical academics are poisoning true free thought. It's easy to superimpose our present world view (and what we know now) on the past. Needless to say, against this backdrop humans look pretty bad....especially Western history which is not painted very well among these pseudo-thinkers.
What's with all these celebrity bird brains - actually I should amend this. A bird's brain is more complex than we think. A bird has more intelligence than most too-smart-for-this-world celebs. Anyway, watching white trash (and sometimes black trash ghetto) search for meaning in what is obviously, millions notwithstanding, an empty existence, in the Middle East and other ancient religious experiences leaves me extremely unimpressed. Very few of them observed religious moral codes back home, (of course Christianity may as well be paganism with today's bunch of narcissists.) as they made millions acting like nympho-androids. These cookie cutter talented freaks mask their 'art' in carefully choreographed shows. It's like when someone puts cologne on when they haven't showered. Or dress and drown rotten steak with Heinz 57 sauce. Celebrities, who are created by society much like corporations, are a monster that is out of control. They are beginning to flex their muscles as they creep and crawl into various facets of our lives from fashion to politics. They are multi-branching their mini-empires. Leftist lunatic intellects should ponder upon the consequences of this mess. Let me see if I get this straight. Celebs, value their fame because it makes them wealthy. Yet, they want privacy whenever they go somewhere. It's like unionized millionaire athletes. To me, this is an oxymoron. If this is what they want then they have to be prepared tp leave all their fortune behind. They want the best of ALL worlds. Flocking on a pilgrimage to Mecca ain't gonna solve your sad problems. Kicking the coke habit starts from within.
So that people realize I actually contribute to society on some level, I plan to start a charity and business venture soon. There is a story as to how I came to be here. I know, it's a couple of blogs now I say I will tell this story but I will.
2005-02-22
Great European Soccer Clubs and Leagues
The following stats and comments are for European soccer clubs.
Before I go on, let's salute the great South American clubs from Argentina (the continents most accomplished league, as shown by the Copa Libertadores. It also has won more Copa America's than any South American country), Brazil (the world's most trophied World Cup nation and the embodiment of improvised soccer) and Uruguay (home to one of the world's greatest soccer club in Penarol). Some of the great clubs from that continent include: Boca Juniors, River Plate, Santos, Flamengo, Fluminense (though they never won a major South American trophy), Colo Colo from Chile, Independiente and of course Penarol. To name a few obvious ones. Indeed, South American clubs hold an overall advantage against their European counterparts in World Club action.
That said, as I mentioned, this little exercise is for European clubs. We always debate who was the 'greatest' club or 'greatest' league. Much of it is based on subjective arguments. I'm not much interested in such debates if there isn't a certain amount of objectivity involved. In any event, this is not meant to try and rank any league or clubs. The following is a list of clubs from predominantly the top leagues in Europe (Italy, Spain, England, Germany, Portugal and Holland). Scotland, France and Belgium are also mentioned. In any event, you can see for yourself the pattern that emerges and can pretty much deduce who are the top clubs and leagues in Europe by this information and statistics. Though they don't tell the whole picture (I would like to soon post a list of head to head records for these clubs) but they are revealing in the end.
Interpret this as you would like.
CL (Champions League); FC (Fairs Cup); UC (UEFA Cup); CWC (Cup Winners Cup); SC (Super Cup); WC (World Championships)
Honourable Club: one that met some of the following criteria: Never won CL but still found success in other major tournaments (ie Valencia, Anderlecht, Parma etc.). Teams that dominate or have found success in their respective domestic league (ie Rangers).
Italian Clubs overall:
CL: 11-14; FC: 1-2; UC: 9-6; CWC: 7-4; SC: 9-3; WC: 7-5
Total: 43-34 (.560%)
Selected Clubs:
AC Milan: 17 domestic league titles
CL: 7-4; CWC: 2-1; SC: 5-2; WC: 3-4
Total: 17-11 (.607%)
Juventus: 27
CL: 2-5; FC: 0-2; UC: 3-1; CWC: 1-0; SC: 2-0; WC: 2-1
Total: 10-9 (.526%)
Internazionale Milano: 13
CL: 2-2; UC: 3-1: WC 2-0
Total: 7-3 (.700%)
Honourable Club: Parma UC: 2-0; CWC 1-1; SC 1-0 - Total 4-1
* Parma never won Scudetto in Serie A.
Other important major tournaments Italy participated in:
Mitropa Cup (1927-1991): Overall record 11-9 in finals (Milan 1-0)
Latin Cup (1949-1957): Overall record 2-1 (Milan 2-1)
Italy leads all leagues with 43 trophies for tournaments selected. Total increases to 55 when Mitropa and Latin Cup included. Italian clubs have reached the finals in 8 tournaments an impressive 98 times since 1927 for a record of 55-43 (.561%). Milan's totals increase to 18-11 (.621%) making it the most trophied club in Europe one ahead of Real Madrid. However, Real did not participate in Mitropa. Latin Cup was restricted to only Spain, Portugal, France and Italy and so I have decided not to include them in the overall total. It was, nonetheless an important tourney and deserved mention.
Spanish clubs overall:
CL: 11-10; FC: 6-3; UC: 5-4; CWC: 7-7; SC: 6-7; WC: 4-4
Total: 39-36 (.520%)
Selected Clubs:
Real Madrid: 29 domestic league titles
CL: 9-3; UC: 2-0; CWC: 0-2; SC: 1-2; WC: 3-2
Total: 15-9 (.625%)
Barcelona: 16
CL: 2-3; FC: 3-1; CWC: 4-2; SC:2-3; WC 0-2
Total: 11-11 (.500%)
Honourable Club: Valencia: 6
EC: 0-2; FC: 2-1; UC: 1-0; CWC:1-0; SC: 2-1
Total: 5-4 (.556%)
*Some may think that Atletico Madrid (and now Sevilla) should be here but Valencia's 5 trophies trumps AM's 2.
Spain was 4-1 in Latin Cup finals. Thus bumping their record to 39-32 (.549). Spanish clubs have proven their greatness as they reached the finals 71 times. Real Madrid was 2-0 and brings their overall total to 17-9 (.654%). Barcelona moves to 13-11 (.545%) when the Latin Cup is added. In terms of total trophies Spain is second only to Italy. Nonetheless, Spain is home to the legendary Real Madrid. Real's historical pedigree can not be denied. Though its recent nomination as being the century's greatest club has more to do with subjective posturing than it does statistically. If we were to measure it strictly on subjective terms, then yes Real played some of the most beautiful football - especially during DiStefano's and Puska's reign. Madrid has a wonderful CL's record. Both Barcelona and Valencia, for their part, have witnessed disappointments at the CL's level.
English clubs overall:
CL: 10-4; FC: 4-4; UC: 6-4; CWC: 8-5; SC: 7-5; WC: 1-6
Total: 36-28 (.563%)
Liverpool: 18 domestic titles
CL: 5-2; UC: 3-0; CWC: 1-0; SC: 3-2; WC: 0-3
Total: 12-7 (.632%)
Manchester United: 16
CL: 2-0; CWC: 1-0; SC: 1-1; WC: 1-1
Total: 5-2 (.714%)
There's a bunch of honourable mentions from England. I suppose one can settle on Arsenal because after the two aforementioned, they have won the most domestic Premiership titles. However, despite their overall 2-5 record, they have never won Champions League . Nottingham Forest and Aston Villa have each won CL titles but have known little success since their triumphs. Overall, solid winning percentages for English clubs.
Which leads me to my next comment. There is no league in the world that is more storied than England's. No less than thirteen clubs have won trophies for the Premiership. Compare this with Germany's and Italy's 9 and Spain's 5 and an argument can be made of the depth of the English league. Indeed, their 58 league final appearances could have been higher had it not been for the ban on English clubs in the 90s. Looking at their numbers, a couple of things stand out: Their fantastic CL's record and atrocious WC record.
Other Leagues:
At this point, I will go ahead and mention the Scottish and French leagues. Scotland has an overall record of 4-7. It is clear that Scotland is dominated by two fierce arch-rivals Celtic (38) and Rangers (50) who have won 88 league titles between them. For a tiny league with a limited talent pool it is nonetheless impressive to have won a CL's. Celtic, in fact, have reached the finals on two occasions for a 1-1 record. They are 1-3 overall. Rangers for their part are also 1-3 in tournament play but their successes were in the CWC. Strangely, neither of these clubs have won the most tournaments. Aberdeen, which has won the third most league titles with 4, has won 2 (CWC; SC) to lead all Scottish clubs.
All this adds up, surprisingly enough, to a better record than the French league. France has always been somewhat of enigma and disappointment. While Spain is a perennial under-achiever at the national club level, France has at least smelled success at the World Cup. Not since the days of Stade de Reims, has French soccer at the league level seen such success. With Monaco as a finalist in the CL's in 2004, where they lost to FC Porto, France has seen its clubs compete and threaten alongside the great power leagues. Maybe we will see an improvement on their dismal 2-12 overall record. France is led mainly by Marseille and Paris St-Germain. Lyons and Monaco are making a pitch and may further deepen the resurgence in the upcoming years.
German clubs overall:
CL: 6-7; UC: 6-7; CWC; 4-4; SC 0-7; WC; 3-2
Total: 19-27 (.413%)
Bayern Munich: 18 domestic league titles
CL: 4-3; UC: 1-0; CWC: 1-0; SC: 0-3; WC: 2-0
Total: 8-6 (.571%)
Hamburg: 6
CL: 1-1; UC: 0-1: CWC; 1-1: SC: 0-2; WC: 0-1
Total: 2-6 (.250%)
Borussia Dortmund: 6
CL: 1-0; UC: 0-2; CWC: 1-0; SC: 0-1; WC: 1-0
Total: 3-3 (.500%)
The Bundesliga's overall record is not one we would normally associate with Germany's reputation for success on the national level. Indeed, Germany's record among European national sides is unmatched. Though the Azzurri and their fans can argue they have known some successes themselves and in particular against German sides. In any event, one can't blame Bayern Munich, one of the world's great soccer clubs, for Bundesliga's lukerwarm record. Recently, Borussia Dortmund have risen to challenge. Germany's performance at the Super Cup hasn't been strong. Still, 46 appearances in finals is a number worthy of praise.
Dutch clubs overall:
CL: 6-2; UC: 4-2; CWC: 1-1; SC: 3-3; WC: 3-1
Total: 17-9 (.654%)
Ajax: 29 domestic league titles
CL: 4-2; UC: 1-0; CWC: 1-1; SC: 3-1; WC: 2-0
Total 11-4 (.733%)
Feyenoord: 14
CL: 1-0; UC: 2-0; SC: 0-1; WC: 1-0
Total: 4-1 (.800%)
PSV Eindhoven: 17
CL: 1-0; UC: 1-0; SC: 0-1; WC 0-1
Total: 2-2 (.500%)
So much for the reputation the Dutch have for being careful. The masters and inventors of 'total' football, which is anything but careful, have also been extremely efficient and opportunistic with their chances. The Dutch league is essentially led by three squads in tournaments and all three have won the CL's. Holland's winning percentage in finals is outstanding. Ajax is the clear leader. PSV still deals with financial weakness and this makes them the perennial number 3 squad.
Forgotten in all this is Belgium. While their clubs have never won a CL's, it can be argued they have known more tournament success than French clubs. Belgium's record is 7-8 overall and the bulk of this comes from one club: Anderlecht which has 27 domestic league titles to its name only Brugge rivals them with 12: UC 1-1; CWC: 2-2; SC: 2-0 for an overall 5-3 (.625%) record. With one CL Anderlecht is one step removed from joining the ranks of the great clubs. Right now, Anderlecht is close.
Portuguese clubs overall:
CL: 4-5; UC: 1-2; CWC: 1-1; SC: 1-2; WC: 2-2.
Total: 9-12 (.429%)
Porto: 19 domestic lead titles
CL: 2-2; UC: 1-0; CWC 0-1; SC: 1-2; WC: 2-0
Total: 6-3 (.667%)
Benfica: 27
CL: 2-5; UC: 0-1; WC: 0-2
Total: 2-8 (.200%) (3-9 when Latin Cup added).
Portugal is literally ruled by three clubs. The two previously mentioned and Sporting Lisbon (Benfica's bitter rival) who have won 18 domestic titles. That is, until recently, when Boavista won a title in 2001. Like all countries who suffered the displeasure of having a dictatorship, sports programs are sometimes cut back. For a small country like Portugal this can prove overwhelming. Portugal has always produced great player's and stars, yet they have qualified precious few times for the World Cup. All this is changed now. Expect to see Portuguese clubs perform well on a regular basis.
I'd like to add a last honourable mention: An interesting league and country to watch in the upcoming months or years is Greece. Was the Euro a harbinger of things to come? Their clubs, led Panathinaikos and Olimpiakos, have never won a major title but have performed well over the years. Time will tell.
One parting shot: some clubs perform better at the domestic level and others in club tournaments. For example, in Italy, while Juve dominates the Scudetto, AC Milan have had the edge in tournaments. Same picture with Porto and Benfica.
As for other clubs not mentioned: Steaua Bucuresti, Crvena Zvezda, Atletico Madrid, Athletic Bilbao, Dynamo Kiev, Moscow Dynamo, Red Star Belgrade, FK Austria, Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur, Real Zaragoza, Aberdeen, Mechelen, Lazio, Fiorentina, Sampdoria, Torino, Leeds United, Borussia Monchengladbach, Goteburg and Galatasaray have all tasted success on some level.
With the information above one can discern quite confidently who are Europe's great clubs and leagues irrespective of 'style' and other subjective notions. From this point forward we can even rank them if we so choose. Maybe I'll try this next time.
Note: Tournaments last updated Oct. 2007. Domestic titles not updated.
Before I go on, let's salute the great South American clubs from Argentina (the continents most accomplished league, as shown by the Copa Libertadores. It also has won more Copa America's than any South American country), Brazil (the world's most trophied World Cup nation and the embodiment of improvised soccer) and Uruguay (home to one of the world's greatest soccer club in Penarol). Some of the great clubs from that continent include: Boca Juniors, River Plate, Santos, Flamengo, Fluminense (though they never won a major South American trophy), Colo Colo from Chile, Independiente and of course Penarol. To name a few obvious ones. Indeed, South American clubs hold an overall advantage against their European counterparts in World Club action.
That said, as I mentioned, this little exercise is for European clubs. We always debate who was the 'greatest' club or 'greatest' league. Much of it is based on subjective arguments. I'm not much interested in such debates if there isn't a certain amount of objectivity involved. In any event, this is not meant to try and rank any league or clubs. The following is a list of clubs from predominantly the top leagues in Europe (Italy, Spain, England, Germany, Portugal and Holland). Scotland, France and Belgium are also mentioned. In any event, you can see for yourself the pattern that emerges and can pretty much deduce who are the top clubs and leagues in Europe by this information and statistics. Though they don't tell the whole picture (I would like to soon post a list of head to head records for these clubs) but they are revealing in the end.
Interpret this as you would like.
CL (Champions League); FC (Fairs Cup); UC (UEFA Cup); CWC (Cup Winners Cup); SC (Super Cup); WC (World Championships)
Honourable Club: one that met some of the following criteria: Never won CL but still found success in other major tournaments (ie Valencia, Anderlecht, Parma etc.). Teams that dominate or have found success in their respective domestic league (ie Rangers).
Italian Clubs overall:
CL: 11-14; FC: 1-2; UC: 9-6; CWC: 7-4; SC: 9-3; WC: 7-5
Total: 43-34 (.560%)
Selected Clubs:
AC Milan: 17 domestic league titles
CL: 7-4; CWC: 2-1; SC: 5-2; WC: 3-4
Total: 17-11 (.607%)
Juventus: 27
CL: 2-5; FC: 0-2; UC: 3-1; CWC: 1-0; SC: 2-0; WC: 2-1
Total: 10-9 (.526%)
Internazionale Milano: 13
CL: 2-2; UC: 3-1: WC 2-0
Total: 7-3 (.700%)
Honourable Club: Parma UC: 2-0; CWC 1-1; SC 1-0 - Total 4-1
* Parma never won Scudetto in Serie A.
Other important major tournaments Italy participated in:
Mitropa Cup (1927-1991): Overall record 11-9 in finals (Milan 1-0)
Latin Cup (1949-1957): Overall record 2-1 (Milan 2-1)
Italy leads all leagues with 43 trophies for tournaments selected. Total increases to 55 when Mitropa and Latin Cup included. Italian clubs have reached the finals in 8 tournaments an impressive 98 times since 1927 for a record of 55-43 (.561%). Milan's totals increase to 18-11 (.621%) making it the most trophied club in Europe one ahead of Real Madrid. However, Real did not participate in Mitropa. Latin Cup was restricted to only Spain, Portugal, France and Italy and so I have decided not to include them in the overall total. It was, nonetheless an important tourney and deserved mention.
Spanish clubs overall:
CL: 11-10; FC: 6-3; UC: 5-4; CWC: 7-7; SC: 6-7; WC: 4-4
Total: 39-36 (.520%)
Selected Clubs:
Real Madrid: 29 domestic league titles
CL: 9-3; UC: 2-0; CWC: 0-2; SC: 1-2; WC: 3-2
Total: 15-9 (.625%)
Barcelona: 16
CL: 2-3; FC: 3-1; CWC: 4-2; SC:2-3; WC 0-2
Total: 11-11 (.500%)
Honourable Club: Valencia: 6
EC: 0-2; FC: 2-1; UC: 1-0; CWC:1-0; SC: 2-1
Total: 5-4 (.556%)
*Some may think that Atletico Madrid (and now Sevilla) should be here but Valencia's 5 trophies trumps AM's 2.
Spain was 4-1 in Latin Cup finals. Thus bumping their record to 39-32 (.549). Spanish clubs have proven their greatness as they reached the finals 71 times. Real Madrid was 2-0 and brings their overall total to 17-9 (.654%). Barcelona moves to 13-11 (.545%) when the Latin Cup is added. In terms of total trophies Spain is second only to Italy. Nonetheless, Spain is home to the legendary Real Madrid. Real's historical pedigree can not be denied. Though its recent nomination as being the century's greatest club has more to do with subjective posturing than it does statistically. If we were to measure it strictly on subjective terms, then yes Real played some of the most beautiful football - especially during DiStefano's and Puska's reign. Madrid has a wonderful CL's record. Both Barcelona and Valencia, for their part, have witnessed disappointments at the CL's level.
English clubs overall:
CL: 10-4; FC: 4-4; UC: 6-4; CWC: 8-5; SC: 7-5; WC: 1-6
Total: 36-28 (.563%)
Liverpool: 18 domestic titles
CL: 5-2; UC: 3-0; CWC: 1-0; SC: 3-2; WC: 0-3
Total: 12-7 (.632%)
Manchester United: 16
CL: 2-0; CWC: 1-0; SC: 1-1; WC: 1-1
Total: 5-2 (.714%)
There's a bunch of honourable mentions from England. I suppose one can settle on Arsenal because after the two aforementioned, they have won the most domestic Premiership titles. However, despite their overall 2-5 record, they have never won Champions League . Nottingham Forest and Aston Villa have each won CL titles but have known little success since their triumphs. Overall, solid winning percentages for English clubs.
Which leads me to my next comment. There is no league in the world that is more storied than England's. No less than thirteen clubs have won trophies for the Premiership. Compare this with Germany's and Italy's 9 and Spain's 5 and an argument can be made of the depth of the English league. Indeed, their 58 league final appearances could have been higher had it not been for the ban on English clubs in the 90s. Looking at their numbers, a couple of things stand out: Their fantastic CL's record and atrocious WC record.
Other Leagues:
At this point, I will go ahead and mention the Scottish and French leagues. Scotland has an overall record of 4-7. It is clear that Scotland is dominated by two fierce arch-rivals Celtic (38) and Rangers (50) who have won 88 league titles between them. For a tiny league with a limited talent pool it is nonetheless impressive to have won a CL's. Celtic, in fact, have reached the finals on two occasions for a 1-1 record. They are 1-3 overall. Rangers for their part are also 1-3 in tournament play but their successes were in the CWC. Strangely, neither of these clubs have won the most tournaments. Aberdeen, which has won the third most league titles with 4, has won 2 (CWC; SC) to lead all Scottish clubs.
All this adds up, surprisingly enough, to a better record than the French league. France has always been somewhat of enigma and disappointment. While Spain is a perennial under-achiever at the national club level, France has at least smelled success at the World Cup. Not since the days of Stade de Reims, has French soccer at the league level seen such success. With Monaco as a finalist in the CL's in 2004, where they lost to FC Porto, France has seen its clubs compete and threaten alongside the great power leagues. Maybe we will see an improvement on their dismal 2-12 overall record. France is led mainly by Marseille and Paris St-Germain. Lyons and Monaco are making a pitch and may further deepen the resurgence in the upcoming years.
German clubs overall:
CL: 6-7; UC: 6-7; CWC; 4-4; SC 0-7; WC; 3-2
Total: 19-27 (.413%)
Bayern Munich: 18 domestic league titles
CL: 4-3; UC: 1-0; CWC: 1-0; SC: 0-3; WC: 2-0
Total: 8-6 (.571%)
Hamburg: 6
CL: 1-1; UC: 0-1: CWC; 1-1: SC: 0-2; WC: 0-1
Total: 2-6 (.250%)
Borussia Dortmund: 6
CL: 1-0; UC: 0-2; CWC: 1-0; SC: 0-1; WC: 1-0
Total: 3-3 (.500%)
The Bundesliga's overall record is not one we would normally associate with Germany's reputation for success on the national level. Indeed, Germany's record among European national sides is unmatched. Though the Azzurri and their fans can argue they have known some successes themselves and in particular against German sides. In any event, one can't blame Bayern Munich, one of the world's great soccer clubs, for Bundesliga's lukerwarm record. Recently, Borussia Dortmund have risen to challenge. Germany's performance at the Super Cup hasn't been strong. Still, 46 appearances in finals is a number worthy of praise.
Dutch clubs overall:
CL: 6-2; UC: 4-2; CWC: 1-1; SC: 3-3; WC: 3-1
Total: 17-9 (.654%)
Ajax: 29 domestic league titles
CL: 4-2; UC: 1-0; CWC: 1-1; SC: 3-1; WC: 2-0
Total 11-4 (.733%)
Feyenoord: 14
CL: 1-0; UC: 2-0; SC: 0-1; WC: 1-0
Total: 4-1 (.800%)
PSV Eindhoven: 17
CL: 1-0; UC: 1-0; SC: 0-1; WC 0-1
Total: 2-2 (.500%)
So much for the reputation the Dutch have for being careful. The masters and inventors of 'total' football, which is anything but careful, have also been extremely efficient and opportunistic with their chances. The Dutch league is essentially led by three squads in tournaments and all three have won the CL's. Holland's winning percentage in finals is outstanding. Ajax is the clear leader. PSV still deals with financial weakness and this makes them the perennial number 3 squad.
Forgotten in all this is Belgium. While their clubs have never won a CL's, it can be argued they have known more tournament success than French clubs. Belgium's record is 7-8 overall and the bulk of this comes from one club: Anderlecht which has 27 domestic league titles to its name only Brugge rivals them with 12: UC 1-1; CWC: 2-2; SC: 2-0 for an overall 5-3 (.625%) record. With one CL Anderlecht is one step removed from joining the ranks of the great clubs. Right now, Anderlecht is close.
Portuguese clubs overall:
CL: 4-5; UC: 1-2; CWC: 1-1; SC: 1-2; WC: 2-2.
Total: 9-12 (.429%)
Porto: 19 domestic lead titles
CL: 2-2; UC: 1-0; CWC 0-1; SC: 1-2; WC: 2-0
Total: 6-3 (.667%)
Benfica: 27
CL: 2-5; UC: 0-1; WC: 0-2
Total: 2-8 (.200%) (3-9 when Latin Cup added).
Portugal is literally ruled by three clubs. The two previously mentioned and Sporting Lisbon (Benfica's bitter rival) who have won 18 domestic titles. That is, until recently, when Boavista won a title in 2001. Like all countries who suffered the displeasure of having a dictatorship, sports programs are sometimes cut back. For a small country like Portugal this can prove overwhelming. Portugal has always produced great player's and stars, yet they have qualified precious few times for the World Cup. All this is changed now. Expect to see Portuguese clubs perform well on a regular basis.
I'd like to add a last honourable mention: An interesting league and country to watch in the upcoming months or years is Greece. Was the Euro a harbinger of things to come? Their clubs, led Panathinaikos and Olimpiakos, have never won a major title but have performed well over the years. Time will tell.
One parting shot: some clubs perform better at the domestic level and others in club tournaments. For example, in Italy, while Juve dominates the Scudetto, AC Milan have had the edge in tournaments. Same picture with Porto and Benfica.
As for other clubs not mentioned: Steaua Bucuresti, Crvena Zvezda, Atletico Madrid, Athletic Bilbao, Dynamo Kiev, Moscow Dynamo, Red Star Belgrade, FK Austria, Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur, Real Zaragoza, Aberdeen, Mechelen, Lazio, Fiorentina, Sampdoria, Torino, Leeds United, Borussia Monchengladbach, Goteburg and Galatasaray have all tasted success on some level.
With the information above one can discern quite confidently who are Europe's great clubs and leagues irrespective of 'style' and other subjective notions. From this point forward we can even rank them if we so choose. Maybe I'll try this next time.
Note: Tournaments last updated Oct. 2007. Domestic titles not updated.
2005-02-21
Max: The Untold Unemployed Stories
Maybe I'm unemployable. One can suppose that I confirm the natural rate of unemployment. Economists define this as the implied present structure of the economy. I interpret this as that there's just so many jobs out there and let's face it some of us out there simply can't function in the 'present structure'.
Today I ventured onto a blizzard in which 20 centimetres of fricken snow fell. I had to go buy fruit. I'm still having trouble with the D chord on my guitar. I also got to thinking about the Mach 3 from Gillette. How much can we take? I mean, Mach 4? 5? Pretty soon the Machs will take the first layer of skin off to ensure that close shave.
Not too long ago privy was I to something irritating. It was a commercial for the Juno Awards (for you Americans out there it's an award ceremony for Canadian musicians equivalent to the Grammy's....I think. Never watched it). While showing jazz musician Diana Krall, it asked us to join them in celebrating Canadian music. I immediately said to myself "now that's a bit misleading." Shouldn't they ask us to come join them in celebrating Canadian MUSICIANS? Saying 'Canadian music' would suggest that jazz is Canadian which it isn't. In fact, what form of music is indigenous to Canada? On a not too far off related matter, I hate the CRTC with all my tissue, fibre and weak ligaments. Just wanted to slip this in.
My insomnia is fertile ground for nightmares. Let me explain. You see, sometimes I fall asleep at, say, 6am and fall asleep for an hour. In that hour, I am subjected to some utterly disturbing images that would make that pussy cat Wes Craven tremble and feel so benevolent. Over the years I may have had at least 20 of these evil images. A few stand out. I would like to share them with you in my Bela Lugosi segment. Actually, I'll make this for another time.
This thing started about how I am unemployable. Maybe I'll also make that the subject of my next note.
Today I ventured onto a blizzard in which 20 centimetres of fricken snow fell. I had to go buy fruit. I'm still having trouble with the D chord on my guitar. I also got to thinking about the Mach 3 from Gillette. How much can we take? I mean, Mach 4? 5? Pretty soon the Machs will take the first layer of skin off to ensure that close shave.
Not too long ago privy was I to something irritating. It was a commercial for the Juno Awards (for you Americans out there it's an award ceremony for Canadian musicians equivalent to the Grammy's....I think. Never watched it). While showing jazz musician Diana Krall, it asked us to join them in celebrating Canadian music. I immediately said to myself "now that's a bit misleading." Shouldn't they ask us to come join them in celebrating Canadian MUSICIANS? Saying 'Canadian music' would suggest that jazz is Canadian which it isn't. In fact, what form of music is indigenous to Canada? On a not too far off related matter, I hate the CRTC with all my tissue, fibre and weak ligaments. Just wanted to slip this in.
My insomnia is fertile ground for nightmares. Let me explain. You see, sometimes I fall asleep at, say, 6am and fall asleep for an hour. In that hour, I am subjected to some utterly disturbing images that would make that pussy cat Wes Craven tremble and feel so benevolent. Over the years I may have had at least 20 of these evil images. A few stand out. I would like to share them with you in my Bela Lugosi segment. Actually, I'll make this for another time.
This thing started about how I am unemployable. Maybe I'll also make that the subject of my next note.
Human Nature
I think it was Hobbes who wondered if 'humans are inherently good with some bad tendencies or are they bad with some good tendencies?" Is the political arena a good place to comment about human nature? Is politics the place to catch humans in their natural state? The further you are away from the politics the less blemished we seem to be. The closer we get to that vortex the more our shortcomings are revealed. Once we fall into it, we become something we never thought we could be. It's where all of humanities demands and hopes are converged. We go in for the good and end up discovering that the bad is all too real and spend our lives containing it.
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