Max: The Untold Unemployed Stories

Maybe I'm unemployable. One can suppose that I confirm the natural rate of unemployment. Economists define this as the implied present structure of the economy. I interpret this as that there's just so many jobs out there and let's face it some of us out there simply can't function in the 'present structure'.

Today I ventured onto a blizzard in which 20 centimetres of fricken snow fell. I had to go buy fruit. I'm still having trouble with the D chord on my guitar. I also got to thinking about the Mach 3 from Gillette. How much can we take? I mean, Mach 4? 5? Pretty soon the Machs will take the first layer of skin off to ensure that close shave.

Not too long ago privy was I to something irritating. It was a commercial for the Juno Awards (for you Americans out there it's an award ceremony for Canadian musicians equivalent to the Grammy's....I think. Never watched it). While showing jazz musician Diana Krall, it asked us to join them in celebrating Canadian music. I immediately said to myself "now that's a bit misleading." Shouldn't they ask us to come join them in celebrating Canadian MUSICIANS? Saying 'Canadian music' would suggest that jazz is Canadian which it isn't. In fact, what form of music is indigenous to Canada? On a not too far off related matter, I hate the CRTC with all my tissue, fibre and weak ligaments. Just wanted to slip this in.

My insomnia is fertile ground for nightmares. Let me explain. You see, sometimes I fall asleep at, say, 6am and fall asleep for an hour. In that hour, I am subjected to some utterly disturbing images that would make that pussy cat Wes Craven tremble and feel so benevolent. Over the years I may have had at least 20 of these evil images. A few stand out. I would like to share them with you in my Bela Lugosi segment. Actually, I'll make this for another time.

This thing started about how I am unemployable. Maybe I'll also make that the subject of my next note.