Max: Why I Think I'm Not Employable

I despise inefficency. I despise it more when it is met with mediocre minds. There's no worse place (besides perhaps the insurance companies) where this fact is apparent than with the bank industry. I have nothing against the concept of banks. I am not anti-capitalist or an insane reactionary Luddite. The structure within it is what irritates me. It is cumbersome and unimaginative.

People ask if I ever plan to jump back into financial servies. Not if I have to go through another fucken interview process. There is not worse ritual to which I can submit myself to thatn the fucking interview. It is here we find the most lamentable queries one can ever encounter in their lives....assuming they are rich in creativity and imagination. Where do I see myself in five years? A rhetorical question in an environment where philosophy is routinely murdered by serial killers?

Like any corporation, one must try and guess which person has the knives hidden. In this climate of paranoia, decisions are made from narrow-minded angles. Rarely do the clients come into the equation. Banks have refined their rhetoric to make it seem like the custimer comes first.....but they don't. Customers aren't stupid and neither are the employees. Idiocy lives in the halls of management. Like dust, it will not leave unless swept away. To sweep it, one needs conviction. Alas, the benches of the banks are a cesspool of cronyism with half-baked bankers. Don't be fooled, behind all those sexy egg sandwiches lay the stench of rotten hatched eggs.

For the nine years their hands fed me, it was amazing to see how many times the bank was under constant 'restructuring'. Which, no doubt, after a while comes to mean and reveal incompetence. One of the methods they used to launch their evil plots was the board meeting. A place where mysterious people come to spew their occult visions. It is almost always led by the leader. The boss almost always has a certain 'do you know how many times my dick was sucked' flair to him and his bimbette side-kick and her 'do you know how many dicks I sucked' blank stare.

It is within this climate of unprofessionalism I became aware that I was unemployable in the corporate world. I simply could not play into their low standards. As such, the ladder was never going to be climbed. The people at the top would have always greased the ladder with snakes and oil. Precious few minds in the bank are enlightened. If they are, you can rest assured their days are numbered. Smart people can't stay too long under such a pathetic regime of babbling fools. If they do, it's because they honestly feel things can change. Sorta like politics. After being corroded and jaded themselves, they come to realize that the only change the bank wants is the customers. Finding that one cultured person to talk to at board meetings or conventions were as rare as catching a glimpse of a lynx in the mountains. Such people have little place to exist within the confines of the blue and grey atmosphere of the bank.

I carved my own little semi-professional para-military militia army while I was there. It would have helped that I took the job a little more seriously. But then again, it was difficult after seeing so many stupid cutomers and imbecilic management decisions. I was a comedic absurdist among spiritless androids! The lack of imagination displayed was shocking. Hey, some people feel comfortable within those walls and good on them. Me? I just could not take it anymore.

There was an episode during my tenure in one of the divisions I worked in that were the best days of my employment. This story, my 4 or 5 readers, is for another time.