A while ago I talked about my slow descent into "I don't give a fuck" madness telling the story of how I browse around grocery stores talking to myself. You might think "well, I silently talk to myself all the time what's so strange about that?"
Nothing unless you talk loud enough for others to hear.
I'll be all like "oh, look strawberries. Stra-barrah's" in a Timmy from South Park voice. Or I'll make up some incomprehensible song with words like "Strew-berry's are good pour me."
Now I tell the tales of reading articles. As much as I read, it's actually a struggle for me because, well, I can't sit still or stay focused for too long. I tend to power read or gloss over in firm believe of my abilities to "grasp" a story.
That's why articles that "continue" on another page completely throw me off. I'm all like reading and suddenly it asks me to go to page B14. No fucking way, man, am I getting sidetracked. It says I'm on A3 and I'll be damned if some left-wing pinko commie socialist Marxist hussy prevents me from going to A4. I gots rights dammit!
Sometimes I'll just flip through on my way to that destination looking over all sorts of other stories, articles and pictures so that by the time I reach "cont'd" I barely remember what the story is about.
Could be about marinated onions for all I know or care.
The President did what with vinegar beets?!
It kinda upsets me frankly. I'll be all like crumpling the newspaper and throwing it down the stairs hollering "cocksuckers!"
Sometimes magazines and publications do the same thing.
I'm not smart. Timmy is brighter so I'd like to know why the industry dicks me around like that.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Mysterious and anonymous comments as well as those laced with cyanide and ad hominen attacks will be deleted. Thank you for your attention, chumps.