Overused Resume Cliches

I guarantee you, my resume on Linkedin is nothing of the sort. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the send me a letter kindly asking me to get friggin lost.

People aren't even 24.31% of the the shit they write on a resume. All vague, unsubstantiated platitudes. In their minds people think they're all that. In reality, they're more like Michael Scott or Dwight.

I remember one chick at the bank who claimed she had strong diplomatic skills; even though she was crude and stubborn as a, let's avoid a cliche here, stubborn as a coconut.