I am Puppet

We should start all articles regarding North American relation with a statement made by a 19^th century Mexican leader and patriot Porfirio Diaz:

“Poor Mexico, so far from God, yet so close to the United States.”

For our purpose here please replace Mexico with Canada.

Over and over we hear that PM Stevie Harpie - excuse me for just a minute. "Yes, hello? Oh, Ste-VEN Har-PER. Got it - is a "puppet" of George Bush. Worse, not even a puppet just a mime who copies everything he does.

Boy, Bush is some genius. Not only is he the mastermind of the greatest crime in human history (plotting 9/11 to control oil. Brilliant) he even has the time to make Canada the first cloned nation. Just brilliant.

People, listen. It's very likely that somewhere among 330 million people from similar regions (last I heard Alberta and Texas was renamed Abertexas) two people will share similar views. In any event, I'm not so sure the assertion of mimicry is accurate or all that fair. Sure there has been somewhat of a realignment of American and Canadian policies (some would call it normalizing) but hardly enough to run around freaking out and thinking Harper is Bush jr.

Americans have no clue how tough it is to be a Canadian leader navigating through Canadian-American relations.

Then it got me thinking. My mother had to use the fire extinguisher to clear the smoke.

For the last 20 years Canadian leaders were either seen to be too close to Team America or too far. For example, during most of the 1980s and early 1990s, Mulroney and Reagan were the best of buddies publicly singing Irish ballads while Trudeau was seen as the pain in the ass nit-picker standing up for Canadian interests.

Generally speaking, under the Liberals Canadian American relations were strained. It's as if the Liberals did it on purpose to upset the Americans to avoid being tagged "puppets." There was no real philosophical reasoning as to why so many of their minions in the party were freely spewing anti-American rhetoric under Chretien. Now it’s swung back to being “too close” under Harper.

As far as I can tell, it's really annoying to be a leader in Canada. Not only do you have to battle with nine other self-serving Ministers but you have to stand on guard for thee against being compared to Jim Henson.

The reality is that Canada is a neighbour of the U.S. thus there are two extreme options Canadian leaders have had to be wary of through the years: 1) nurture the relationship to the mutual benefit of both and run the risk of people perceiving us (mostly insecure Canadians) as giving into the Americans and 2) give in to pseudo-nationalism and reactionary anti-Americanism in the name of Canadian "sovereignty." The recipe for instant hero in a cup.

If I was a leader I know where I would stand. I'd first stare down the Norwegians. I don't know what they're up to but I don't like it.

That said, I'm not reactionary or emotional by nature. Sure, I get passionate watching 'Corner Gas' or some soccer games but hardly to the point where one Kleenex could not wipe a tear away (and some mucus.) I know using ONE whole Kleenex to wipe a whole tear away seems wasteful. But if I keep the tissue it just aggregates in my pockets until it ends up in the wash.

However, it would be prudent and pragmatic to, you know, defend Canadian national interests where it matters most and not just to "go against the Americans" to make sure we still have a pulse.

For Canadians it’s best for us to let a simple axiom guide us: You can't have your cake and eat it too. The media and special interest fanatics want us to believe we can. Some, not all, engage in a sort of writing whenever something goes against Canada it is taken as proof of some evil American plot. If you want to bid for contract on U.S. soil don't bitch about the terms. Just be glad you're getting a shot. If the Americans come to the great nation of Canadus - with all our puppetteering might - and consider national security an issue just counter with a "Ok. We understand. Here's what we think and what we need."

It’s a two-way street, see? Cooperating does not necessarily mean being a gimp to the U.S. Sure they are a tough bunch to please and deal with but Canada need only worry about what is best for Canada.

That sometimes means standing firm or having the maturity to agree with the United States.