Thank You Obama!

Thank you for:

Being at war every day you were President! 

Expanding those wars.  

Keeping Gitmo open.
Snubbing Lech Welesa when he asked to visit you.
The double-speak on Israel. 

Deporting 2.5 million people. 
Not releasing the Abu Ghraib pictures.
Bombing a Yemeni wedding. 

Wiretapping and following reporters. 

Prosecuting more people under the espionage act than all previous presidents. combined. 
The Afghanistan surge and more military deaths over there.

Blocking FOIA requests in record numbers. 
Raiding more medical Marijuana dispensaries than Bush. 

Changing your mind on gay marriage when it was politically expedient to do so.

Weak GDP rates and possibly Japan-style growth.
Preventing The Great Depression...(we think).
The rise of civil forfeiture.
Decreased median household income.

Keeping the national debt high.

Decreasing full-time work and increasing part-time employment.

Attacking and bombing seven countries and destabilizing an entire region.

Losing American leadership in the Middle-East.

Pissing Russia off and letting China increase its aggression in the region.

Weakening alliances with Turkey and Eastern Europe.

Leaving behind a divided 'post-racial' America.

Talking so much and doing so little.

Putting more people on welfare.

Increasing health insurance premiums and letting people keep their plans and doctors.

Your enlightened views on economics (you didn't build that) and history (The Crusades).

Your wise and measured words during violent protests.

Using children after Sandy Hook to push for gun-control.

Demonizing the wealthy and encouraging the politics of envy.

Fast and Furious.

Handling Benghazi with utmost honesty,. 

Putting an innocent man in jail and not granting Amb. Chris Stevens extra security as requested.

Asking NASA to make Muslims feel good.

Letting Hillary have an unsecured private server.

Being agile at blaming others.

Carefully crafting a cynical image of yourself.

Being a pop culture President.

The IRS scandal.

Responsibly spending $2 billion on Healthcare.gov.

Doing something about the VA and saving soldiers dying while waiting for care.

The Office of Personnel Management hacking.

Being a steadfast defender of climate change.

Threatening Britain if they didn't vote against Brexit.

Lying about Berghdahl and repatriating a deserter.

Solyndra and squandering taxpayer dollars on the green economy.

For saving GM....union that is, while raiding police and teacher pensions and other secure creditors to do so.

Introducing Jonathan Gruber and putting a tax cheat in as Secretary of the Treasury.

Rigging the stimulus as a massive labor kickback scheme.

Incompetence and prostitution in the Secret Service.

The DOJ secretly reviewing work and home phone records of AP reporters.

Handling the Deepwater Horizon disaster with dignity and shakedowns.

Shaking down Toyota and Volkswagen.

The DOJ calling Fox news reporter James Rosen a criminal co-conspirator for leaking information.

Eric Holder and his honourable service.

The DOJ for prosecuting and punishing whistleblowers.

Being the most transparent administration in history.

Being the 4th best President ever.

Lowering the sea levels.

Getting a Nobel Peace Prize for being at...war! And...

Your secret kill list and killing of American citizens without due process.

Signing a bill giving you full armed protection forever while declining to extend this right to citizens.

Ransom payments to Iran and lying about it.

Amending and issuing exemptions and extensions to Obamacare in violation of the law.

Attacking Libya without Congressional approval and having Europe deal with the refugee crisis.

Violating the War Powers Act and UN Article 39.

Running guns to ISIS through whoever the Free Syrian Army were.

Drawing a red line.

Transferring funds to the UN Climate Fund without Congressional authrorization.

Not tabling a budget.

Skillful cynical politicking.
Not fixing SS.

Allowing the EPA to violate FOIA while evading Congressional oversight.

Looking the other way to Hillary's criminal activities via her foundation.

Excellent record at the Supreme Court. Wouldn't expect anything less for a constitutional lecturer.

Cash for Clunkers and how it helped the poor.

Creating an atmosphere of animosity and general cynicism regarding entrepreneurship and wealth.

Smart power and resetting foreign policy.

Commuting Manning and not Snowden.
Doubling debt per person (despite campaigning on net reduction of debt).

Continuously lecturing Americans.

Cunningly forging a cult-like image among your sycophants.

Average oratorical skills but making it seem it was substantial.

Taking expensive vacations.
Hyping up the lies on Russian 'hacking'.
An Iran deal...?

Ensuring the nation was at peace with the smooth transition given the angst.

Losing nearly 1000 seats and damaging the Democrat brand.

Doing little inner-city African-Americans.

Usual crony politics.

Taking the troops out of Iraq but not containing ISIS.

Dropping sanctions against Cuba (no sarc).
Restricting basically welfare to Cubans who get an immediate pathway (no sarc). Little in return though. 
Lowest success rate at the Supreme Court.

Thank for Bush 2.0 and injecting steroids into it.

Progressives. You're wrong. Flat out. Full stop.