As part of the on-going war on obesity, officials have determined classic hit song 'Sugar, Sugar' by The Archies (Andy Kim, Jeff Barry) to be a health hazard. "It's a nice song and all, but we have to protect our children. We feel the title of the song encourages kids to go out and get all sugared up," explained spokesperson for "Less Sugar, More Bitter" Robert Twittziggy. The organization is said to be 14 strong and its reach double that. "We're making our voice heard that's for sure," Mr. Twittziggy added.
According to the health department, organizations like LSMB are key to the success in creating fat-free children according to Minister of Health Elizabath Fury. "Sugar and salt are fair game in an effort to maintain diet standards. Look, no one is saying you can't have some of both, we're just making it illegal is all. The decision to ban the song wasn't unilateral as our detractors claim. It was one that was given much thought with the involvement of community activists and celebrities alike."
She added. "We also have to watch out for diabetes which is on the rise. It just makes sense."
Not everyone agrees. J.B. Forrester, who hails from Noweheresvillenoonegivesashitabout, had this to say about the ban. "It doesn't make sense. Where's the bathroom?"
When asked if the name "Less Sugar, More Bitter" was appropriate given it could make people more sour and cynical, Mr. Twittziggy could only muster a confused stare. "Well, it's not meant to be literal. Sheesh."
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