It's becoming increasingly hard to be The Commentator

Idea for Extreme Swimming:

If the Olympics ever finds itself with ratings dropping for swimming I have one word: piranhas.

Drop those suckers in an Olympic pool and watch world records fall. It's the ultimate survival of the fittest. Darwin would love the idea.


9:15 am conversation with Federal Express:

Ring.

Fed Ex: "Federal Express Julie speaking how may I help you today"

The Commentator: "Hello Fed Ex"

Fed Ex: "Hello. What can we do for you today?"

TC: "I'm just calling to see what brown can do for me."

Fed Ex: "Brown? Er, sir I think you have us confused with UPS."

TC: "I know. I'm pulling your leg and judging by your voice it must be one long, sensual, sexy limb. Listen I need to Fed Ex myself."

Fed Ex: "Excuse me?"

TC: "Yeah. I'm late for work and need to get my ass to a board meeting by 10 am SHARP!"

Fed Ex: "I- I d-don't understa..."

TC: "I travel light."

Click

TC: "Hello? Hello? Great. Now what am i going to do? Al Gore says I shouldn't use a car or bus and if I hop on my bike it will take me hours to get to work. Hey, I know what. I'll call Gore and see what his solution is."

Dialing

Fini-Fin-End