Is The Commentator smarter than a 5th grader?

There's a rumour spreading like a virus that apparently Fox is coming out with a new show. It seems that the standards were to high for contestants on "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" In order to preserve their tenuously mid to low self-esteem the producers have decided to lower the bar and plan to introduce "Are you smarter than a 3rd grader?" As one television exec said, "It's all about the illusion of presenting an intelligent society."

Anonymous interviewer: "So. Commentator. Think you're clever? Stop biting into that package."

The Commentator: "Sorry. I'm hungry. Raisins belong in a box not package."

AI: "It's come to my attention that you may not be smarter than a 5th grader."

TC: "Funny you say that. Back in the day, I was placed in "High" Grade 5. Apparently I was a good student. You had to see the retards in the "Low" side of the track. Losers. Anyway, my prowess for arithmetic was killer successful. I may have been good in English. I forget. I have to pull out my report cards. Strangely, the 5th grade was also right about the time I took a decided educational turn for the worse. My grades plummeted as fast as a seagull spearing fish in the sea. Hmpf. Now that I think of it, that can begin to explain where I am in life right now."

AI: "Any regrets?"

TC: "Nah. My fifth grade teacher was what we termed in the north-east corner of the class "hot."

AI: "Hot?"

TC: "Look, the fifth grade, heck the whole elementary experience was a blur to me. One too many Flintstones tablets if you get my drift. I was jacked on the purple Dino's. At one point I was rubbing it on my arm since it came in a cream format!"