It is with much regret I inform you all of my decision to stop blogging to spend more time with my family.
It's also my great pleasure to announce I'm back with gusto and glee.
What's the big deal? People retire and come back all the time.
I really enjoy public figures - be they businessmen or politicians or whatever - always say they want to "spend more time with their family" after leaving a post.
CEO: My time here has been nothing short of remarkable. When I took over this company, it was a shitty stock on the exchange. Now, it's a mid-size piece of shit that pays an unstable but modest dividend. I made great friends (and love with various corporate mistresses and skanks) over the years and will cherish you all forever - or at least for the next few days. But my time has come. Through the ups and downs (mostly downs but we spun them to make us all believe they were up) we stuck together like a family (albeit a fabricated one). Speaking of family, my decision was made easier just thinking of taking Little Timmy fishing, helping Jane with her homework and engaging in...endless...enthusiastic...nagging...conversation...with...my...sigh...wife...Roberta. Keep on that Curves diet honey! We're all so very...proud. Excuse me.
Man walks up to CEO and whsipers in his ear.
CEO to man while covering microphone with hand: GM wants me to what? Take over? Yes! This is so cool.
Man: What about fishing?
CEO: What? Oh, shut up!
Removes hand and speaks into microphone.
CEO: Listen, folks. I gotta go. Keep it real!
End.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Mysterious and anonymous comments as well as those laced with cyanide and ad hominen attacks will be deleted. Thank you for your attention, chumps.