Mom: I Married a Teenaged Alien

They tell me you need to grab the headline with a neat hook. Once you do grab them, I suppose you then have to shake them as hard as you can. Now that I have failed, I shall move forward with this cool-lection of assorted words that help to form quasi-coherent phrases.

I selected the above title because this is pretty much how Quebec politics functions - like a cheap tabloid. Whenever I hear one of our dippity-dappity politicians speak about something or another it harks back to a golden age of 'The National Enquirer.' Usually, I just brush them off like you do a fly circumnavigating (did I just say cum?) your ear; I have no idea why they would want to get in the waxed tunnel. But it's hard to always flick them away since they, well, live among you.

This is where a blog like this one can help enormously to help deal with the ill-advised amount of ignaramuseses that fill up the ignoble National Assembly in Quebec City - or Ottawa for that matter.

They....just....don't....get....it. Me and them - we just don't see things, you know, through the same prisms. Apparently, we could not help the Expos because we needed the money for the 'ospitals.' This is how they see things - with no economic coherency.

David Ricardo and Adam Smith aren't friends of Quebec.

I pretty much disagree with them on everything including family values, economics, political ideas, food etc. Foreign policy is another. The Blockhead Quebecois and their Marxist-Leninist leader from Jippity Jupiter (who collects rent like a good capitalist) have been hammering this week Stephen Harper and his position of supporting Israel. Of course they do. Quebec has a secret ugly history of anti-semitism. Wink, wink. Shhh. The don't want to believe they are capable of discrimination. Shhhhh!

All these medium sized tomato heads have been plucking all kinds of moments history to serve their own nimroddick views. They are wrong. Boy are they ever wrong when it comes to the Mid-East. We're watching the 1930s unfold right before our eyes and we are choosing to appease - Again. Yet, no calls on this parallel are made.

Peace at all cost is a dangerous proposition you know. Now, our appeasement is under the guise of American Imperialism and the Israeli occupation. Delude yourselves. Go ahead. Buy the bit the terrorists and their apologists are selling you. But stand aside and let Stephen Harper do his job. He is not willing to let malignant malcontents use the media to maliciously manipulate our minds.

Look, er, read. It really doesn't matter what they think because they can barely run their own Vaudeville show. Mammy! Mammy! Quebec has no clue what it means to have real power and wield it. Their whole existence is premised on a bunch of myths and 19th century ideals mixed in with some modern revisionism. It sounds great to them but it makes no sense to those of us outside the box. Quite frankly, it's so kooky sometimes we don't want to know. Hence, we ignore it as best we could. Call it fusion politics.

They identify themselves with the Palestinians because they truly believe they are in the same boat. Yeah, I can just see Canadian Federalist black shirts laying down mines to prepare for 'settlements' (aka reservations) in Quebec. Mind you, the Cree are prepared for a battle should Quebec ever actually pull the trigger and insanely secede. Shhh. More secrets.

Fly on the wall scene if they ever get the vote they want in a referendum seeking to break Canada apart: "Wha? We won? What de le fuck do we do le now? "Um, let's call it a democracy but we have to act like a dictatorship so we can get our act together, Jean-Guy."

How can they possibly form a decent opinion on the Mid-East? They habble and babble and habble and babble. Yet, they tolerate pathetic little outfits that apparently preserve the pride of the language in L'Office de la Langue Française - our very own subtle but no less harassing Brown shirts. Only without the bats. They are armed with rulers.

Here's a thought. Instead of dipsy-doodling around with wooden rulers measuring the size of fricken English letters -finks - how about you instill some hardcore family and educational values in your society again before tackling bigger issues?

Until then, step aside, grumble in whatever tongue you want and let Harper lead.

I wonder if the aliens tolerate divorce.