Brawls And Other Lame Sports Stories

The college basketball brawl between Cincinnati and Xavier reminded me of a soccer game I played in over 20 years ago. Actually, two games.

The first was the legendary "Duvernay brawl" in which my team was a willing participant. It so happens my cousin and a friend from Australia took in the game. It went sorta like this: My closest friend - right until today - was trash talking all game long with a guy who went to school with us. He played for another district. For 90 minutes they squawked at each other. It was fucking annoying. I rarely spoke much, if at all, in any game I played. If someone tried to get into my head it was easy to block it out since I knew why they were doing it. The best revenge was to score and win. I'm not big into that sort of stuff but it's part of the sports culture.

Where I did get nasty was on the squash and tennis courts. Man, I was possessed with a John McEnroe temper - I'm even a lefty. Yeah, I swore and threw rackets.

But it was competitive soccer I played.

Weird.

Anyway, I kept my words for when they really mattered.

Bsck to the story. At the end of the game we stood to shake hands and my friend decides - after slight provocation - to shove the guy. All hell broke lose. I mean, hell. Parents, dogs, refs, and players alike were engulfed in fiery fisticuffs. My friend's brother - who was and is big and powerful - was hurling kids about like they were rag dolls. It was hilarious.

Someone pulled me out of the scrum before I got a chance to take part.

My cousin asked if all soccer games in Canada ended in a fight.

"Hey, we may have invented hockey, but you guys came up with Aussie rules rugby," I replied. "Now that's psycho!"

Some sports station used to carry Aussie rules back in the day. Still remember the announcer screaming, "Hawthorn!"

***

The other story is in regards to a championship match in high school. It was a cold November day. Cold enough for us to "go out and win the thing...fast." Our coach, the science teacher, thought he was badass when he refused to let us wear pants, long johns or other gear to help keep us warm. "Your energy will get your body hot!" he said. Maybe, but I remember running straight to the locker room after the game to celebrate.

During the game some douche kid -  I still remember his face - was covering me on defense. His tactic? Since he couldn't stop me if his life depended on it, he would come stand next to me and place his foot on top of mine. The first time he did it I laughed out loud. I figure I'd go score and he'd back off. Nope. He repeated the infantile exercise no matter the score. I think we won 4-1 or 4-0. Whatever, he was original I'll give him that.

Point is. I didn't lose my cool when confronted with absurdity. How can you get angry with absurd actions? Sure, my primal instinct was to punch him out, but I just ignored it and went about to finish my job.

So whenever I see an athlete losing it to the point of hitting someone else, I do keep the "heat of the moment" argument at bay.

Keep your cool. Nothing is worth gambling your honor and dignity.