My Recipes For Hamburgers And Scrambled Eggs

Two things my kid goal likes are hamburgers and scrambled eggs so I have to make it interesting for her while keeping it somewhat simple and of course healthy lest some interventionist smart alec know it all whisk unsolicited wisdom gibberish about health issues.

So, what do you with your hamburgers Commentator?

First, I buy angus Canada AAA hamburger meat. It's more expensive but a better quality. Next, I go home and yell at the neighbour. Then, I prepare the burgers. I don't wash my hands because I believe it enhances flavor.

Too-dee-doo.

The ingredients. All done by eye. Using measuring spoons and cups can get messy. I use:

-Brown sugar - Sometimes organic maple flakes depending on mood. Just enough to cover the meat. Anywhere between half to a full tablespoon. Want more? Go ahead. I don't care. Just use sense because you don't want any one ingredient overpoweing another.
-Honey - I don't know, maybe a teaspoon to a tablespoon. Somewhere in that range.
- Dehydrated onion bits. When I have time I'll cut up a vidalia onion very finely. You want to make sure the meat assimilates the onion like a good immigrant that's why I chop it well.
- Chili sauce. Mild. Tablespoon.
-Dry or fresh parsely. Parsely is a harmless part of the recipe. If you like use liberally. If you want to keep things in control, go conservative.
- Some Sea salt and coarse pepper.

It's in the Sloppy Joe's family but not really. There are dozens of other things you can use: Tobasco, Worchesterchestersauce, Diana Southwestern sauce - whatever. Your choice. I have to keep in mind my wife has severe allergies.

Next, what I do is take about a palm-full of meat, roll it nicely and then flatten the bitch down as thinly as I can because you all know meat tends to shrivel up Costanza style if you know what I mean. Once it shrinks there's a danger it becomes more of a meatball and you don't want that - at least I don't. So I make sure once on the grill or pan I keep pressing it down with a kitchen tool of some sort. Rolling pin is a bad idea.

You know the rest. If you don't, stay out of the kitchen.

Scrambled eggs.

Alrighty. I use four large eggs (with omega-3). I cut up two types of onions in any combo: Red, yellow, green (shallots), vidalia, Spanish. Whatever is in the pantry I use. I sprinkle some vegetable or olive oil in a pan and heat up. Drop the onions and cook for a few minutes. I don't wait until it turns brown waiting instead to try and find the right raw/cooked blend; usually roughly three minutes at medium heat. My daughter doesn't like to see "green herbs" in her food so I trick her. In addition to salt and pepper, I use powder marjoram (not too much because it's strong) as a subsitute for oregano. I suppose you can use powdered oregano too come to think of it. I keep it simple for her with the mind I'll dress my portion up later as you'll see.

I throw in the eggs screaming (they scream in my head. "Oh know, I'm never gonna be fed grains to be slaughtered like my papi!"). Eggs spook me for some reason. Sitting there, peacefully with oval baldness. It's like their seriously plotting something sinister.

I let it form a strong bottom as if I'm making an omelette for a couple of minutes. As its forming I add powdered coriander (when I'm making it for myself I sometimes add fresh pesto)spreading it around the top of the uncooked portion of the omelette. Coriander is not that strong so I put liberally but don't go nuts.

Then I begin my evil destruction of the quasi-omelette to scramble it like my brain. My daughter (and me) like the egg to be brown a little so I'll cook it anywhere from four to seven minutes making sure the onions don't all turn brown as well.

Add cheese of your choice if you will. We like fresh mozzarella.

Now. To add more to my portion what I do is, if I'm using shallots, take the green portion of it and just throw it on top of the omelette. I complement that with fresh Greek oregano (Greek oregano is more piquante than the Italian version keep in mind) and fresh basil. Just a few of them.

Finally, I add whatever sauce I'm in the mood for, this morning it was Frank's hot sauce. I put that shit on everything.

Finally, again, when I'm making it for one, I sometimes use chili powder, jalapeno peppers, chili and cayenne powder in whatever combo to make a Diablo style omelette.

There you go.