From Gun Running to The Lord: Creative Spam hits my email

Here's an example of spam that creeped into my email. Lately, I've had a few and I am each time tempted to hit the reply button with a big "fuck you." But I don't know what the fall out would be if I did do it. So I did the next best thing and exposed these jerk-offs here. Anyone who actually responds to such emails has to get the gulible-meter in their heads examined. Spare parts and jobbers eventually thin out.

Anyway, check this one out. It's a personal favorite.

Warm Greetings!

Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and may offend your personality for contacting you without your prior consent and writing through this channel. (This is a classic line) I got your contact from a professional database found in internet while searching for a reliable and honest person that will be an anointed steward in a vision very dear to me.

I am Mrs. Isabela Rodrique person from Puerto Rico undergoing medical treatment. I am married to Dr. Castillo Rodrique who was a gun runner supplying arms and ammunition to warring factions in Africa before he died in the year 2002. (This is supposed to build trust and credibility?)We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 11.8 Million Pounds Starlings (Eleven Million, Eight Hundred Thousand Pounds) with a Fiduciary company. Presently, this money is still with the Fiduciary Company.(Scooby-Doo! Where are you?)

Recently, my doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my partial paralysis. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to an organization or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want an organization or individual that will use this to fund, women and youth groups, victims of war, environmental protection, charities, orphanages and widows or properties for orphanage homes. It is said that blessed is the hand that giveth. (Aw)

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and as a part of restitution for the atrocities of my husband which I tacitly supported. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. (Existentialist with a purpose. Good for her) I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. If you consider yourself adequately equipped morally and spiritually for this mission, please send me a brief memo of how you intend to use the funds. Thank you and God bless.

Yours sincerely,
Mrs. Isabela Rodrique

I'm sold. Where do I sign up?