Sports Comments

-Angry Genius - Lesse here, Barry suspiciously "sells his Bonds" and gets 756 dingers. It is what it is. Cheat and a jerk you say? Perhaps. No wait, he is a cheat and a jerk. Why this is so I don't know. Take it to Vienna. I do know that many ball players were mercurial. Think Williams, Cobb and DiMaggio to name but a precious few. Others were cheats - think Sutton and P. Niekro.

I think, wink, wink, it's pretty clear his "What, me worry?" ain't being bought by most. Still, all the Keystone-moralizing that has swirled around his cantakerous head and mystery persistent elbow injury is a farce in itself. The hypocrisy exhibited (and there is more than enough on all sides to go around) has degraded itself to levels not even Mr. Burns would ever sink to.

He's a jerk. He used flax seed. He wears a weapon that probably launches small rockets from his arm. He may have even benefited from juiced balls. He remains one of the all-time greats and has earned his place on Mount Crushmore. Live with it. The thing I don't get is why did he do it?


-Broken Wood - The former-legendary Montreal Canadiens are not sailing into the mystic these days. Not with signings that bring back has-beens into the line-up. While the Philadelphia Flyers turned into instant Cup contenders, the Habs walk along a lonely path to mediocrity. Heck, even mighty Juventus, after spending time in banishment in Italy's second division, has managed to make important signings to make them competitive. What about the Boston Celtics and their impressive deals to bring among other Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett to their hallowed grounds?

The Habs, for their blessed souls, signed Patrice Brisebois and his bad back to an intelligent $700 000 contract. Swell. Could they have not instead used the money and add it to Michael Ryder's contract - the club's only true legitimate goal-scorer? Goal-scoring? Bah. It's clear Bob Gainey, is strong on the development side. Less so on the signings and trading which have backfired more often than not. So now fans -after forking over 10 bucks for the pseudo-criminals over at the Center and their crappy beer - have to watch Brisebois "play" 40 games as though he needs a chiropractor following him around with those mall-skeletons? The Canadiens are probably going nowhere so why not sacrifice a couple of years and let the kids gain experience?


-Baseball Players Should take up Shuffleboard - I was watching the Toronto Blue Jays and New York Yankees hammer each other the other night. It seems you can't throw at anybody anymore without the batter acting like a princess from some jungle tribe. Mind you, MLB has not helped matters with its zero-tolerance attitude regarding this. It harkens back to the instigator rule in hockey with the NHL.

Anyway, Alex Rodriguez may be a fearsome hitter but he ain't scaring people with those beautiful green eyes. He's better suited for a Chrystal Gale song than a diamond fight. Cheez, what would they do in the face of this Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher?


Alex (clawing in mid-air): "Hold me back, I swear I'll kill him!"
Jeter (rolls eyes and arms crossed): "Um, no one is holding you back, Alex. Go for it."


Take it in the chin and take your base, you weenies. Worse, half of these guys come up to the plate crowding it with cocky bats. Damn straight a buzz cut is in order to shave part of that smirk off. Pedro Martinez - all 65 pounds of him (40 of it his hair) - wasn't afraid to go up and in on the hitter. Good for him. Someone has to teach these boys that baseball is a man's game.