"Of all the dramatic things I've ever seen, Roger Clemens standing right in George Steinbrenner's box announcing he is back!" explained New York Yankees broadcaster Susyn Waldman with exaggerated exaltation once upon a time in galaxy far, far, away.
Not to be out gunned another Yankees announcer - I, spank me silly, forget his name - who claimed that Alex Rodriguez was having the " greatest month in his or anybody else's life!"
Quite presumptuous this old chap, eh? Though sometimes hilarious, it's easy to hate hyperbole.
Alas, it exists and we need to roll with it sometimes. So, that being said, I was lying on the carpet next to my mad monkey and came across another one of those slightly demented exaggerations. This one came courtesy of Jim Lang from Sportsnet - Homer Station of England Soccer.
During those between commercials sports updates (you know, the one where the relaxed sports caster rolls up his sleeves and reads from a copy book), Lang recapped England's 3-0 Euro 2008 qualifying victory over those plucky but scoreless Estonians. David Beckham - who is playing wonderful soccer- helped set up two goals with two brilliant cross passes. In Lang's mind, they were (especially the second one) the greatest passes ever. Greatest...passes....ever.
Look, it was Estonia. No disrespect to Estonia but they ain't exactly a world class defensive corps. Who writes the script anyway?
My lord. What is the matter with these people? Have they ever left their homes? In the case of Lang's comments he's not the only one. Some broadcasters or journalists talk or write as if they literally don't watch soccer. Or if they do, they only watch English soccer. Now, I realize that Sportsnet carries Premiership games - led by the fantastic Gerry Dobson/Craig Forrest duo - and that their allegiance lies somewhat with the league but the comment struck me as a tad excessive.
Since the Canadian media is having a hard time facing some cold hard facts and harsh realities of the state of English football let me help them. Listen up: It pains me to write this but England is not a first-rate soccer nation no matter what the tabloids or auto-biographies tell you. England may have a top flight league but its national side remains a basket case. Why this is so is not the point here.
England is not in the same league - technically speaking - as Italy, France, Germany, Spain (those other under achievers), Portugal, Brazil, Argentina or the Netherlands. Great individual players with decent skill but collectively there's a reason why they flop tournament after tournament despite the ridiculous and unreasonable expectations. They are a "quarter-finals" team as former England manager Terry Venables put it. Venables, incidentally, was arguably England's best manager in recent memory.
I hope to see England win a World Cup (or Euro) one day. However, they seem preoccupied with all sorts of things (like not basing their goals on results and proper elite training) that detract them from producing elite players. Until they get their act together, I suppose we should get used to people praising English victories over weaker sides. I suspect they will need far more than a couple of accurate Beckham passes to carry them through against the power sides of the world.
sport.independent.co.uk/football/comment/article2614558.ece
-Is their anything more enthralling in sports than the ceremonial ritual of presenting and hoisting the Stanley Cup?
The angelic city of Los Angeles Anaheim - whatever they're called - is now officially a championship city. With a World Series under their belt they now add another trophy to their case: the Stanley Cup. The Anaheim Ducks won their first Stanley Cup last night after defeating the impressive Ottawa Senators in five games. I picked them (see honey, it's not only my nose) to reach the finals (against Buffalo. I was half right) at the onset of the season and watched a few of their games all year - for the straightforward reason that I have Ryan Getzlaf in my keeper pool. Simply stated: they were by far among the two or three the best regular season teams and the single most consistent squad in the NHL playoffs.
They were a bruising team that wore down and ultimately slaying their opponents with pragmatic skill. With that sort of deadly combination it's enough to beat any side in any sport on any day. They were like the James Bond of hockey: calm, cool, collected and merciless. Yet, all year I kept hearing about how they were a paper tiger and each time I heard it I thought it to be odd. It's all moot now. That's Anaheim's second Stanley Cup appearance in four years and something tells me with the young core of talented players on their roster they may be a legitimate contender for the next few years - assuming of course they can keep the team together in this era of mad free agency and communistic salary caps.
Hockey fans may be bracing for a duo dynasty in the making with the Anaheim Ducks and Pittsburgh Penguins.
Yep! We Southern Californians have all of our duckies in a row.
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