Max: Psst, I'm Unemployed.

I'm feeling somewhat political today.

It's been a while but I was gathering bananas for the United Fruit Company for charity in the Carribean.

No sleep makes you wonder about things people never consider. I hate dogs. Dogs are fricken annoying. They sniff and drool all over you. Most people would much prefer a dog over a cat. Not me. I want the aloof agility and elegance of a cat any day. Cats are cooler. Dogs are nerds. Even the comics think so. Many heroes and villains alike have been cats - Catwoman, Tiger-Man, Cat-Man etc. I never saw Dog-Man or Canine Guy or Mutt Boy. Ok,so there's Wunder-Dog and Mutley. Hardly legendary. That's because there is nothing hip about dogs.

Blogs that make it are the ones that provide stories either overlooked or ignored by the media. So here's mine. It has not been verified nor do I have any sources but it's a strong hunch. My hunches are famous as they are infamous. You should see me curve my back. I'm one hell of a hunchback from, where is it, Nutter-Dame. Anyway, Lloyd Robertson, beloved old guy anchorman for CTV News, is actually dead. He has been cryogenically preserved and is let out every night at 11pm to do his newscast. Now that's dedication.

Seat belt laws are smart. Yes, they save lives and sometimes big brother has to intervene for our own good. What I hate is that I have to pay a fine for exercising my right to not wear the belt should some cop pull me over. It's nobody's business but my own what I choose to do with my life. If I want to be stupid that's my problem. And spare me the 'overloading our hospitals' bit. We're doing fine without this.

Now for more Hollywood drivel. Sean (pronounced Seen) Penn (pronounced Peen) you are not an official diplomat. I repeat. Now recite. Sean and the UN. Oh, brother. I watched 'Meet the Fockers' the other night. It was ok. Nothing staggering. Here's my view of this film. First of all, I wanted to punch and beat up both fathers but mostly Mr. Focker played by Dustin Hoffman. He was an idiot. If he was my father I'd run....far. An irresponsible, disrespectful New Age moron. Mr. Byrne, played by DeNiro, was a rigid close-minded former CIA guy. Anyway, by the end of the movie Hollywood came in with their verdict as to who should change. Ding, ding, ding, no surprise- the conservative DeNiro by the end moderated his stance and the implicit message was sent. Hoffman's character was superior and was in no need of enhancement since his views and outlook were more closely aligned to Hollywood's vision of a perfect human being. While DeNiro became a better human being according to the Hollybankrupt ethos, Hoffman stayed the same. I ask, who is the better human? A person who sees the errors of their ways is always made wiser no? Hoffman is allowed to go on acting like a complete narcissistic child holding on to over-rated 60s baby boomer ideals. There never was a Camelot loser. If Hollywood had their way, we'd all be paying more for organic bread, dismantling our arms to allow enemies to take advantage and would be justifying every vice known to man. This from a place where it still believes it was wronged when several of their own were justifiably (many were Stalin sympathizers or Marxists. No one saw the irony in their persecutions as martyrs of freedom) blacklisted in the 1950s. Missing something? I definitely am. The more I dig and look at this objectively, the more I think I live in an inverted world.

Some chick or dicks want to have access to bathrooms. Let me explain. Gender neutral citizens are out to get their equal rights. Girls who look like boys but have cunts or vaginas or whatever want access to boys bathrooms because they don't feel like a girl. Now, the University is at the center of this idiotic protest, and is forced to reexamine it's bathroom policy. All because of how people feel in the head. Here's a simple test - have everyone pull down their pants and then determine where they belong. If not, then I want to be black. Who is going to stop me? Afterall, I listen to soul legends.

In the words of one fine animated actor, "Idgets".